Lifesavers

The teacher gave children some Lifesavers candies…The children began to identify the flavors by their color:

Red…………………..Cherry
Yellow………………Lemon
Green……………….Lime
Orange …………….Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None of the children could identify the taste.

The teacher said, ‘I will give you all a clue. It’s what your mother may sometimes call your father.’

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled, ‘Oh my God! They’re ass-holes!

The teacher had to leave the room!

Thanks Gene

Buy Jonco a beer

I’ve activated a plugin to allow B&P readers to make a donation in support of Bits & Pieces (in the right-hand sidebar).  This plugin is a little different than the one I used before.  It’s a lot easier to set up, that’s for sure.  It includes a recognition wall that is built into the plugin.  You can have your name and comment added to the recognition wall or not. That’s your choice.

It also has a suggested amount that is defaulted at $10.  I tried to zero out the default amount but it won’t let me.  You can put whatever amount you want in the box…. $3, $5 $10, $20, $100….. (I wonder how high it will go?)

Anyway, a donation is certainly not required but if you feel so inclined (and some have requested this) I really appreciate the support.

Why some men prefer dogs over women

1.Doggy1  The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.

 3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog’s parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, ‘If I died, would you get another dog?’

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting.Doggy2

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

And last, but not least:

14. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff.

Thanks Janet