The teacher gave children some Lifesavers candies…The children began to identify the flavors by their color:

Orange …………….Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None of the children could identify the taste.

The teacher said, ‘I will give you all a clue. It’s what your mother may sometimes call your father.’

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled, ‘Oh my God! They’re ass-holes!

The teacher had to leave the room!

Thanks Gene


Buy Jonco a beer

I’ve activated a plugin to allow B&P readers to make a donation in support of Bits & Pieces (in the right-hand sidebar).  This plugin is a little different than the one I used before.  It’s a lot easier to set up, that’s for sure.  It includes a recognition wall that is built into the plugin.  You can have your name and comment added to the recognition wall or not. That’s your choice.

It also has a suggested amount that is defaulted at $10.  I tried to zero out the default amount but it won’t let me.  You can put whatever amount you want in the box…. $3, $5 $10, $20, $100….. (I wonder how high it will go?)

Anyway, a donation is certainly not required but if you feel so inclined (and some have requested this) I really appreciate the support.


Why some men prefer dogs over women

1.Doggy1  The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.

 3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog’s parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, ‘If I died, would you get another dog?’

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting.Doggy2

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

And last, but not least:

14. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff.

Thanks Janet


Show your boobs in the name of science

CleavageA senior Iranian cleric says women who wear immodest clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes.

Iran is one of the world’s most earthquake-prone countries, and the cleric’s unusual explanation for why the earth shakes follows a prediction by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad that a quake is certain to hit Tehran and that many of its 12 million inhabitants should relocate.

“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,” Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media. Sedighi is Tehran’s acting Friday prayer leader.

Jen MCreight, the Blog Hag, is proposing a Boobquake to disprove this theory.  In the name of science she’s offering her boobs and is encouraging other women to do the same on Monday, April 26thJoin the cause!

Why wait?  Shouldn’t women start practicing today?

Here’s a movement I could get behind.