A helping hand

Grass-eating-boyA rich man is driving down the highway and he see’s a man in the median eating handfuls of grass, he tell his driver to pull over and he yells to the man, “What are you doing there?”

The man says, “I am broke and hungry and this is the best I can find.”

The rich guy says, “Come with me and I can help!”

The poor man says, “But what about my wife?”

The rich guy says, “She can come too!”

The poor man says, “But my children are just up the road, what about them?”

The rich guy, reluctantly say’s, “They can come too”.

The poor man says “How about my aunt and uncle, and sisters?”

To which the rich guys replies,

“Just how big do you think my lawn is?”

via

Actual calls received at a public golf course

Staff:     Golf course, may I help you? 
Caller:    What are your green fees? 
Staff:     38 dollars. 
Caller:   Does that include golf? 
 
 
Staff:      Golf course, may I help you? 
Caller:    Yes, I need to get some information from  you. First,is this your correct  phone  number? 
 
 
Staff:      Golf course, may I help you? 
Caller:    Yes, we have a tee time for two weeks from  Friday. What’s the weather going to be like that day? 
   
 
Staff:     Golf course, may I help you? 
Caller:    Yes, I had a tee time for this afternoon but I’m  running late.  Can you 
 still get me out  early? 
 
 
Staff:     Golf course, may I help you? 
Caller:    Yes, do you have one of those areas where you  can buy a bucket of golf balls and 
  hit  them for  practice? 
Staff:    You mean a driving range? 
Caller:   No, that’s not it. 

More after the break….

Read moreActual calls received at a public golf course

Man craps in wrong car

Crapper2The teenager who defecated in a man’s car – mistakenly thinking it was his girlfriend’s – has been convicted and sentenced to probation.

Austin Horries Purifoy, 19, is headed into the U.S. Army, which is aware of the charges, said 3rd Judicial District Attorney prosecutor Michael Heitz.

Unfortunately, the owner of the befouled Honda Civic was turned away from the car wash where he attempted to take the car and had to clean the damage himself, Heitz said.

Leaving work late the night of March 11, the car’s owner reported finding Purifoy in the back seat of his Honda Civic, pulling up his underwear.

“This is your car?” Purifoy said before bolting the scene, according to documents filed in court. “I thought this was Desiree’s car.”

The rest of the story