10 Things the Cubs can do to win the World Series

Cubs suckI’m always thinking about baseball.  And the other day I was thinking about what it would take for the Cubs to win a World Series.  My first thought was a miracle.  Then I though that these 10 things would get them a World Series ring.

10 – The first 9 drunk off their rocker fans to get to the stadium will start in place of the players under contract.  I’m sure they can do better.

9 -Stop calling yourselves “The Lovable Losers” and start calling yourselves “The New York Yankees”.

8 -Dig up Ted Williams and Babe Ruth, ask Barry Bonds, Robbie Alomar, Robin Yount, Mike Schmit and Bob Gibson to come out of retirement.  Then stick them on the field.

7 -Thing to do #7 on this list doesn’t even matter.

6 -Hire God to manage the team.

5 -Sacrifice a real goat at home plate during the 7th inning stretch of every home game.

4 -Stop sucking.

3 -Make it mandatory that the visiting teams players do a keg stand at every base while the Cubs player stay sober.

2 -Stop being cheap and buy your World Series like every other team that has won the last 10 World Series.

1 – Tell every other team in the major league that the baseball season has been canceled and win the World Series by default.