Horny kangaroo stalks woman

A BRAWNY kangaroo that has been seeking love of late has focussed his lust on the women of a Territory town.

KangarooThe well-endowed macropod has been hanging around the Honeymoon Ranges in Tennant Creek recently, making every effort to woo a woman.

One resident who walks along the bike track to the Mary Ann Dam regularly said she realized she was being followed early one morning.

“I turned around and saw this big kangaroo behind me, so I hastened my steps,” she said.

“It seemed a bit odd, but I continued walking and didn’t think much about it.

“Then on the return walk he was there waiting for me,” she said.

“With his male pride on full alert, he started circling me.

“There was no doubt about what he wanted, the randy old thing.

“It was a huge kangaroo and quite intimidating.

“I yelled at him to go away, waved my hands about and let him know I wasn’t interested, but he was persistent – I’ll give him that.”

The woman said the roo bounded off when other walkers approached.

The jolly jumper made another appearance at a recent night-time speedway meeting.

Mother-of-three, Tanya Wilson, who was behind the pits, noticed he had come to check out the action.

“I thought it was strange that a kangaroo would come to such a noisy place, but I grew up around kangaroos so I went up to say hello,” she said. “There I was having a nice chat to him when I heard others calling out to me, warning me to step away.

“I didn’t take any notice of them because I didn’t think I had anything to worry about. I thought he was just a cute, friendly kangaroo.”

Tanya was oblivious to the amorous nature of the interlude, but the kangaroo’s intentions were clearly evident to other speedway fans.

“Yeah, apparently he was quite aroused,” she said.

“I’m actually glad I didn’t notice.”

There were reports a male speedway fan confronted the kangaroo but came off second best when the beast punched him in the face.



The amazing sex bet

Viagra pillsGambling and Sex are two terrible vices that mankind seemingly has quite a bit of interest in. Gambling is thrilling and carries with it the chance to make a large amount of money. Sex is sex, which is pretty sweet on its own. So why not combine the two? Sergey Tuganov thought he would have a go at living the impossible dream. Sadly, his inclusion in this article means it didn’t end well, so please don’t look up to this man as a source of inspiration.

Tuganov presented two women with a simple scenario: he could have continuous sex with them for twelve hours. If he could then he would win $4,300. If he couldn’t, then he would forever be remembered as a failure who got to sextify two women for several hours. Either way, win win. The women agreed, and the sex was had.

Before I continue with the conclusion, I’d just like to ask a simple question: what sort of person can have sex continuously for twelve hours? Oh sure, people talk about it as a joke or fantasy, but have you actually thought about what sex for twelve hours straight would feel like? I’m predicting that the sexy good times come to an end right about the time unpleasant things start to chafe.

Anyway, in order to ensure his victory of these two women and whatever force created him, Tuganov decided to down an entire bottle of Viagra, one pill of which is enough to ensure an erection for four hours. I’m guessing that Tuganov was terrible with numbers. To his credit, he managed to win the bet. To his discredit, his boner pills iced him only minutes later. I can only hope they were able to close the casket.