Medical

A quick trip to the dentist

   A man and his wife walked into a dentist’s office.

The man said to the dentist, “Doc, I’m in one heck of a hurry.  I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget  about the anesthetic, I don’t have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it!  We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and it’s 9:30 already… I don’t have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!’


The dentist thought to himself, “My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain.”  


So the dentist asks him, “Which tooth is it sir?”


The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth Honey, and show him.

Thanks Gene

Wrong diagnosis

Old manTwo medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.

One student  said to his friend: “I’m sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that.”

The other student says: “No, I don’t think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki  Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class.”

Since they couldn’t agree they decided to ask the old man.. They approached him and one of the students said to him, “We’re medical students and couldn’t help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn’t agree on the syndrome you might have.  Could you tell us what it is?”

The old man said, “I’ll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think.”

The first student said, “I think it’s Peltry Syndrome.”
The old man said, “You thought – but you are wrong.”

The other student said, “I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome.”
The old man said, “You thought – but you are wrong.”
 
So they asked him, “Well, old timer, what do you have?”

The old man said, “I thought it was GAS – but I was wrong, too!”       

Thanks Ronnie

10 Finkers

Ole vas vorking at da fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidentally cut off all ten finkers.
  
He vent to da emergency room in the Clinik and vhen he got dar da Norsky doctor looked at Ole and said, “Okie  dokie, et’s have da finkers and I’ll see vhat I  can do.”
Ole said, “I haven’t got da  finkers.” 

 
“Vhat do you mean, you hafen’t got da finkers?” he said. “Lordy- it’s 2010 and Ive’s got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible surgery   techniques.
I could hafe put dem back on and made you like new! Vhy didn’t you brink da finkers?”

Ole says………”How da fock vas I suppose to pick dem up?”

Thanks Gene

Conjoined quintuplets seperated

Presurgery1Prior to surgery, the patients were given a thorough pre-operative workup. With the exception of a strikingly high glucose level, all medical parameters were within acceptable limits.

High glucose, a common indicator of diabetes, was excluded as a risk factor due to the absence of polydipsia, polyurea, retinopathic or neuropathic changes, with a normal urine analysis. No other medical contraindications to surgery were discovered. It should be noted that patients refused a urine drug screen.

See the graphic photos and the story here.

via

Negative pressure wound therapy

A streamlined version of ‘negative-pressure’ wound therapy is put to the test in Haiti — and could have ‘enormous potential’ across the developing world.

Nobody knows precisely why it works, but doctors have known for decades that the healing process for open wounds can be greatly speeded up by applying negative pressure — that is, suction — under a bandage sealed tightly over the affected area. The speculation is that it helps by drawing bacteria and fluid away from the wound, keeping it cleaner.

For patients, there is a benefit even beyond the speedier healing. Traditional dressings need to be removed and replaced — sometimes painfully — up to three times a day, but with the negative pressure system dressings can be left in place for a few days. But in the developing world, there’s a problem: The systems are expensive, and they need to be plugged in or powered by batteries that last only a few hours. In many developing nations, a reliable source of electricity is rarely available.

The rest of the story.

via