Medical

The gynecologist who became a mechanic

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and  HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He  went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended  diligently, and learned all he could.

When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared  carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of  150%. Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, “I don’t want to  appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is  an error in the grade?”

“The instructor said, “During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly,  which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together  again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark.” After a pause, the  instructor added, “I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through  the muffler, which I’ve never seen done in my entire career”.  


Thanks Gene

A quick trip to the dentist

   A man and his wife walked into a dentist’s office.

The man said to the dentist, “Doc, I’m in one heck of a hurry.  I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget  about the anesthetic, I don’t have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it!  We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and it’s 9:30 already… I don’t have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!’


The dentist thought to himself, “My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain.”  


So the dentist asks him, “Which tooth is it sir?”


The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth Honey, and show him.

Thanks Gene

Wrong diagnosis

Old manTwo medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.

One student  said to his friend: “I’m sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that.”

The other student says: “No, I don’t think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki  Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class.”

Since they couldn’t agree they decided to ask the old man.. They approached him and one of the students said to him, “We’re medical students and couldn’t help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn’t agree on the syndrome you might have.  Could you tell us what it is?”

The old man said, “I’ll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think.”

The first student said, “I think it’s Peltry Syndrome.”
The old man said, “You thought – but you are wrong.”

The other student said, “I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome.”
The old man said, “You thought – but you are wrong.”
 
So they asked him, “Well, old timer, what do you have?”

The old man said, “I thought it was GAS – but I was wrong, too!”       

Thanks Ronnie