The Perks of Being Over 60

1. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
2. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
3. You sing along with elevator music.
4. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service.
5. You have a party and all your neighbors don’t even realize it.
6. People call at 9 PM and ask, “Did I wake you”..??
7. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
8. Things you buy now won’t wear out.
9. You can live without sex but not without glasses.
10. You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.
11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
12. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
13. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
14. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
15. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
16. You know your eyes won’t get much worse.
17. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
18. Kidnappers are not interested in you.
19. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
20. No one expects you to run into a burning building.

Thanks, Jokes & Shite

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Simple home remedies…

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER..

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

Thanks, Roscoe

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B&P Link Dump

Breaking Bad – The Movie

The Big Lebowski 2

Want a keg of Ranch Dressing?  →   

Smells Dogs Hate

This is What Dementia Looks Like

Die Hard – The man who refused to die

Affordable U.S. Destinations for 2019

Affordable International Destinations for 2019

14 Secret Menu Items You Need to Order

10 YouTube URL Tricks You Should Know About

The cannabis commercial you won’t see on the Super Bowl33



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