Hey friends – we have some Bits & Pieces merch to clear out.
Thanks for your jokes! We’ll be contacting the winners and sending out merch soon 🙂
Ben is serving term in prison for fraud. One day he receives a letter from his father, Maurice
It looks like I won’t be able to plant anything in the garden this year. I am growing too old to do any digging without your help. Looking forward to your early release.
Please don’t dig up the garden – that’s where I hid the money. Be patient and wait until I get out.
At 4am, the police show up at Maurice’s house and dig up the entire garden. Two days later, Maurice receives another letter from Ben:
Now the garden has been dug up, you can start to plant your garden. It’s the best I could do from here.
A filthy rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only Redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.
Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters, and BBQ and flirting with all the women.
At the height of the party, the host said, ‘I have a 10-foot man-eating gator in my pool and I’ll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in.. The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash. Everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!
Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its ass! Leroy was jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping it through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor. The water was churning and splashing everywhere.
Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising hell. Finally, Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish. Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.
Finally, the host says, ‘Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.”No, that’s okay. I don’t want it,’ said Leroy.
The rich man said, ‘Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet.
How about half a million bucks then?’
‘No thanks, I don’t want it,’ answered Leroy.
The host said, ‘Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?’
Again Leroy said no.
Confused, the rich man asked, ‘Well, Leroy, then what do you want?’
Leroy said, ‘I want the name of the sumbich who pushed me in the pool!’