20 Things that sound dirty on Halloween

1. So…What’d you get in the sack?

2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!

3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!

4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!

5. I got the best piece from that house.

6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!

7. Stick your hand in and guess what you’re feeling….

8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!

9. They’ll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.

10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn’t get my mouth around it!

11. She’s a goblin!

12. Let me see your bag….OH! You’re having a great night!

13. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.

14. She’s got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch.

15. If you just lick it, it’ll last longer.

16. Show me your JuJuBees and I’ll let you see my Zagnuts.

17. Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth…

18. You scared me stiff!

19. He’s got Candy spread out on the living room floor!

20. Trick or treat?

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Today is “Ask a Stupid Question Day”

No, really, it is.  Ask a Stupid Question Day

Here are some examples of stupid questions:

  • Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?
  • Why can’t woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?
  • Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say
    “Hi, my name’s Bob. I’m an alcoholic”?
  • If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?
  • Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
  • Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?
  • Who was the first person to look at a cow and say “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”?
  • Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They’re both dogs.
  • Why is a person who handles money called a broker?
  • If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
  • If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?
  • Why is it that when someone tells you that there’s billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there’s wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?
  • Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?
  • Who was the first person to go up to a chicken and say, “I’m going to eat the first thing this chicken poops?

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