Pregnancy class

The room was full of pregnant women with their partners.  The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

 She said “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you!  Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just take several steps and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.”

She looked at the men in the room, “and Gentlemen, remember — You’re in this together — It wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with her.

The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information. Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.

Yes”, answered the Instructor.

I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”


Thanks Gene

On a long airplane flight

Girl on airplaneA Congressman was seated next to a little girl on an airplane so he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said the congressman. “How about global warming, universal health care, or stimulus packages?” he asked smugly.

“OK,” she said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”

The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea”.

To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care, or the economy, when you don’t know shit?” And then she went back to reading her book.

Thanks Donnie Mac

Service

It’s confusing when the word ” Service” is used with these agencies:

  • Internal Revenue  ‘ Service ‘
  • U.S. Postal  ‘ Service ‘
  • Telephone ‘ Service ‘
  • Cable TV ‘ Service ‘
  • Civil  ‘ Service ‘
  • State, City, County & Public ‘ Service ‘
  • Customer ‘ Service ‘

This is not what I thought Service “meant”.
 
But today I overheard two farmers talking and one of them said he had hired a bull to “service” all his cows.

BAM!!!  It all came into focus.  Now I understand what “Service” means.

Thanks Denny