.Funny

The New Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

‘That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘but I want more.’

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Thanks Gerald

Today is “Ask a Stupid Question Day”

No, really, it is.  Ask a Stupid Question Day

Here are some examples of stupid questions:

  • Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?
  • Why can’t woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?
  • Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say
    “Hi, my name’s Bob. I’m an alcoholic”?
  • If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?
  • Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
  • Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?
  • Who was the first person to look at a cow and say “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”?
  • Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They’re both dogs.
  • Why is a person who handles money called a broker?
  • If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
  • If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?
  • Why is it that when someone tells you that there’s billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there’s wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?
  • Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?
  • Who was the first person to go up to a chicken and say, “I’m going to eat the first thing this chicken poops?

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Tuesday Caption Contest

Kid and lamb

Here’s Tuesday’s caption contest.  We’ll award the prize of a full copy of Notifier2 to the person who has the best caption.  Note:  Be sure you have your correct email address on your comment data.  If it’s not correct we can’t notify you if you win.

Notifier2 allows you to check multiple email accounts (google, yahoo, hotmail) and affiliate (adsense, admob, cafepress, sitemeter….) accounts in one nifty little program on Windows. More info.

Monday’s winner was Scott O.  Monday’s contest