Friday Firesmith – If Jesus Loves You Why Did He Make You Stupid?

Firesmith logo

If Jesus Loves You Why Did He Make you Stupid?

I don’t like religious people. Most people do not like religious people unless they’re just like them, and because there are so few people who really want to put that much effort into a super charged Santa Claus religious people are forced to go out and try to convert people who usually just want to be left the hell alone.

I swear to dog, every time I hear the phrase, “Jesus is my personal savior” I get the image of a vibrator in my mind. So if this is a personal thing why are you walking around talking about it to people who did not ask you about your vibrator, your savior, or your past drug addictions? There are a lot of former druggies who are now Jesus Junkies. That suggest anything in particular to you?

I have some issues with the clergy. As far as I can tell they’re professional parasites. They produce nothing and they eat a lot. Most of them talk far too much. Here in South Georgia you’ll hear one thing at a funeral no matter who dies. Some preacher will stand up before a crowd of people, and say, “The person you dearly love is in heaven and if you don’t get saved you will never see that person again.”

That’s despicable. It’s spiritual extortion of the lowest order. It’s mean.

Let me tell you a few things I know to be true.

1. Short of you performing some miracle right before my eyes, I don’t give a damn what you feel, or believe, or think you know. Either show me an alien or stop telling me you’ve seen one. Either walk on water or swim for your life, but don’t tell me what you believe, unless I ask.
2. I’m a writer. When I want fiction I will write it. Keep your literature to yourself.
3. Praying is like oral sex; don’t ask someone to do it, or offer to do it for someone, unless there is some sort of agreement before hand, not that hands have anything to do with either. Either way you wind up on your knees, true, but if you think a conversation about oral sex is offensive, hey! That’s how I feel about you offering to pray for me.

I know where god is. The Okefenokee Swamp is full of god. The love of a good woman is totally made of the god, or goddess, and I am not talking about sex. Dogs are constructed of unconditional love and that is god or nothing is. The sunset is god. The idea that men and women can live free and wear a uniform to protect freedom is given by god. I get grief from the godless about that last part, but they too can play a part in this.

They too?

I can’t tell you what I feel because only I feel it. I can’t explain what I believe because only I believe it. I can’t tell you what god has said to me because only I heard it.

If he told you he didn’t exist would you believe it?

The idea that any one person or any group of people has it right or any better than anyone else is laughable, except wars get fought over it. Lives are ruined by religion. People con other people into voting for them because they know what to say about religion and they know people will listen.

Think for yourself. Believe for yourself. Leave other people alone.

Take Care,
Mike

 

Mike writes regularly at his site:  The Hickory Head Hermit

Opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily those of the management of this site.

Friday Firesmith – In Their Defense…reflections from the Superbowls

Firesmith logo

If you watch the NFL long enough you will notice a love affair between the fans, the media, the general public, and the position of quarterback. Now, if you are a fan of the game and not a team or some individual player, you have to notice there have been some of the greatest quarterbacks who ever played the game that never won the Superbowl.

Jim Kelly, Dan Marino, Fran Tarkenton, and Dan Fouts come to mind.

Kelly and Tarkenton were a combined 0-8 in the Superbowl.

I think quarterbacks are overrated, over paid, and over protected. Put the same rules in effect that protect the quarterback but give them to an outside linebacker and you’ll have games ruled by defense. But the game is not about the game anymore it’s about selling television rights and profits for the owners of the game. People like to see some highly paid superstar slinging the
ball downfield so the rest of the members of the team are often forgotten unless they make some mistake that loses the game.

Scott Norwood sent Jim Kelly’s dreams down in flames in 1991, the first of four loses in the Big One. No Good Norwood, as he was labeled after that, got one shot to win a game, which is an unfair way of looking at an event that lasted sixty minutes. Why had Kelly not gotten the team closer? Why were they going for a field goal from that distance to begin with? The answer lay not in the Buffalo offence but in the New York defense, who kept their team in the game all night long.

Eli Manning isn’t a great quarterback, but then again, he isn’t trying to be, either. He’s got one of the strangest coach’s known to football on the sideline in Tom Coughlin, who is somewhat of a dinosaur. Coughlin is the oldest man ever to coach a winning Superbowl team, and he’s a throwback from when coaches ran the team like the captain of a Spartan Death Squad. Twice since 2008, Coughlin has taken his team into the playoffs as underdogs, as a team who wasn’t expected to advance, and taken his team on the road against teams expected to play for the title. Twice, Coughlin and Manning have taken on teams who scored more points and more often, and won. They didn’t do it by lighting up the scoreboard but rather with defensive schemes that were as solid as they were frightening. Aaron Rodgers may have won his first Superbowl last year but this year at home he faced a Giants defense that pursued and confused him, and intimidated his receivers into six dropped passes.

Tom Brady has three rings, more money than god, and a super model wife. Once again he was to lead his team against Coughlin’s Giants, and behind Brady was the defensive genius Coach Bill Belichick. On paper it wasn’t much of a match. The Patriots were again favored and once again, I picked the Giants to win.

Football is a team effort. If you have a Joe Montana and a Jerry Rice, well hell yeah, that’s going to mean a lot. How’s your defense? Can they stop the run? Can they pressure that highly paid genius in the backfield into making mistakes? Can they hit him hard enough and often enough to rattle his cage? Can your safeties hit the receivers hard enough so that at least once, someone will duck when they ought to be catching the ball? Can you make the quarterback think twice about holding on to the ball long enough for a long play to develop?

Eli Manning didn’t win the Superbowl last Sunday. All he did was all he had to do, and that is not lose it. He didn’t throw bad passes and he didn’t fumble it away trying to make something happen. He let his defense do what they had to do and he played within that. Coughlin’s plan seemed suicidal; make Tom Brady win the Superbowl. But playing against one player is much easier than playing against a whole team.

And playing to win with an entire team rather than depending on one player seemed to be working for the Giants.

It’s ironic that Manning was named MVP when the defense is what won the game, but the defense is accustomed to such slights. They live in the shadows of the limelight, rarely enjoying the attention or money given to the highly protected Golden Boys who marry supermodels and do television commercials. No, their glory stays on the field with them, and they are rewarded with mud, blood, pain, and obscurity.

Those are the real heroes of the game, and the real winners. They silenced the dreams of such gods as Jim Kelly, Dan Marino, Fran Tarkenton, and Dan Fouts.

Can you name more?

Take Care,
Mike

 

Mike writes regularly at his site:  The Hickory Head Hermit

Opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily those of the management of this site.

Friday Firesmith on Sunday – Giants Win

Firesmith logo

When it gets right down to it, and it always does, the better team does not always win. I remember Wade Phillips saying that after the Cowboys lost the infamous, “Jessica Simpson Bowl” That was the game played a week after the Cowboy’s Tony Romo was filmed cavorting in the surf with tuna aficionado Jessica Simpson. I doubt she had any effect on Romo, at least not nearly as much as the Giant’s defense, but damage done. What Phillips didn’t mean to say was, “We got outcoached” but that was what happened to him, and Romo, and the Dallas
Cowboys.

Giant’s coach Tom Coughlin is a lot of things but he isn’t flashy. Bill Belichick of the Patriots is a much more loved and has more Superbowl rings than Coughlin, but the first, last and only time Coughlin went to the Superbowl he beat Belichick. People distract from this by pointing out the margin of victory was only three points but clearly they are not Superbowl historians.

Tom Brady is a much better quarterback than Eli Manning but I don’t think quarterbacks matter
as much as other people think they do. Yes, yes, yes, I know the list of famous quarterbacks who
won the Big One but there is a longer list of those who did not, and lesser quarterbacks who have won. Manning is sufficient in what he is required to do when he is required to do it. He can be brilliant but that isn’t his job. Without Manning the Giants can still win. If Brady goes the Pats go with him.

The Giants are not an overpowering team in that they do not put up a lot of points but they pound
the living hell out of everyone every play. They are a very large very tough very physical team who has been slated to lose their last three games and have won all three impressively. The Giants pounded a very good Atlanta team. They went into Lambeau Field against one of the highest scoring offenses in the league and won by double digits. They went into San Fran and beat one of the best defenses alive.

The Patriots won their playoff game in OT by a field goal and they were lucky to escape with their lives and they know it. (Don’t bring up Denver and I won’t either).

Take Care,

Mike

 

Mike writes regularly at his site:  The Hickory Head Hermit

Opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily those of the management of this site.

Friday Firesmith – Sarah, Get Your Gun

Firesmith logo

I’ve never shot anyone for any reason and the one time I came close it was an event that made my physically sick for nearly two weeks. A 911 operator gave a deputy the wrong directions and he wound up on my porch at two in the morning. He thought he was responding to a silent alarm so he didn’t turn on his blue lights. He was one my porch with a flashlight and I was a dozen feet away from him, in near total darkness, in my living room holding a double barreled shotgun. When he finally stopped being distracted by Bert trying to tear down the door to get to him, he turned the flashlight towards me and realized there was a naked man with a large gun closer to him that he had ever feared. As an aside, I have never been more impressed with a dog’s determination in trying to get at someone. There are still teeth marks in the door. I was also impressed with the deputy’s agility as he got the hell off the porch and away from a man who clearly wasn’t breaking into a house.

When I heard about an Oklahoma City woman named Sarah McKinley who had opened up on an alleged human being named Justin Martin, I remembered how frightened I was when I thought someone was about to break into my house, with me standing there waiting for it to happen. Sarah McKinley, however, was all alone except for her infant son. Her husband had just died of cancer and incredibly enough, there were some lowlifes out there who saw the funeral notice and thought they would drop by, break in, and steal any leftover pain meds. What plans they had for Sarah were interrupted when Sarah fired a twelve gauge shotgun at close range, inside her trailer. Justin Martin was killed instantly, but not nearly soon enough. His accomplice has since been charged with first degree murder for being involved in a robbery that resulted in the death of someone who at some point in his life, stopped being a human being.

Let me be perfectly clear; I have three large dogs and a large backyard, but on occasion, I will step into something one of them has left in the grass. Despite my best efforts, sometimes some of this stuff gets trapped in the pattern of my tennis shoes and I have to dig it out with a stick. As far as I am concerned, Justin Martin, in planning to rob a widow with an infant right after the woman’s husband has been buried, is a step or two below that stuff on the stick. Oh and just how manly are you if it takes you over twenty minutes to break into a trailer anyway? I’ve seen a five year old ramped up on Mountain Dew and Raisin Bran demolish a trailer with a plastic hammer and some Hot Wheels cars. How much lower on the stuff stick have you gone when you and your friend starts planning a robbery like this? What sort of image to you see looking back at you in the mirror when robbing a
widowed mom with an infant is your plan for the evening? When Sarah called 911 they told her they couldn’t get her any help in time. They told her to do what she had to do. Sarah McKinley opened up in a small place with a large gun and evolution took its toll. Justin Martin, if he has to reincarnate as a lesser being, will not be able to return.

When I put down my shotgun and realized how close I had come to true disaster it made me sick. Miscommunication nearly cost a man his life and it would have cost me my peace of mind forever. But Sarah McKinley is my hero, and I hope she sleeps well at night knowing she did right by her son, her husband, and she did humanity a huge favor.

Take Care,

Mike

 

Mike writes regularly at his site:  The Hickory Head Hermit

Opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily those of the management of this site.

Friday Firesmith – Lesbians Want My Beer

Firesmith logo

Sometimes I just cannot sleep and sometimes the hamsters in my head keep the wheel turning all night long. Last night it was the subject of same sex marriage. For the life of me, no matter how I look at it, I cannot help but think it’s a truly bad idea. Haven’t they suffered enough?

There are a lot of people out there who passionately rant and rave about what a bad idea it is, and I have to question myself because I’m pretty much totally indifferent to where other people put the sex organs, or what they do with them otherwise, as long as it doesn’t affect me. So is same sex sex in some way affecting me that I’m unaware of at night? ( Surely I would notice, wouldn’t
I?)I had to confess to myself the idea of two naked women having sex would indeed cause me to lose sleep. The idea that all over the world, there might be millions of naked women having sex was enough to banish any thought of sleep at all. I’ll be damned! The opposition is right! Same sex couples do have an adverse affect on us people considered normal just because there are so damn many of us. Then the thought occurred to me that if all those women were unmarried it might actually mean they would have more sex, seeing how there is nothing that has a more negative effect on sex than marriage, so it would seem if same sex sex were the problem same sex marriage would certainly cut down on it. That pretty much killed the million of naked women buzz, I mean even the thought of marriage…see it does work!

I thought about the economic impacts of same sex marriages and I realized when the lesbian couple I know came over and drank beer with me I had less beer than I started with, and it was because of them! Wow, just like that I had uncovered the truth about why same sex marriages was such a bad idea but then I remembered, just barely, the party at their place where I drank a lot more beer than I started out with. Hmm, locally speaking, lesbians seemed to be pretty good for my economy. But could we hope that all lesbians shared beer? What of gay men? Damn, now here’s where the argument gets exceedingly weak. If there is anything men like better than beer it’s sex and if there is anything that makes men like sex more it’s beer, so it would seem to me that gay men would be pretty good for the beer industry, even more so than lesbians and me.

The same people who think same sex marriage is bad also thinks abortion is evil, and I’m confused as hell about this. Gay men are out there buying beer, having sex, and not a damn one of them winds up getting an abortion. Lesbians, even when they buy me beer go home with other women, so the only person who could possibly get someone pregnant is the guy who is home alone thinking about the lesbians. If the abortion protestors really want to get rid of abortions shouldn’t they be out there campaigning for same sex marriages?

Throw religion into the mix and you have to wonder where the priorities are. Here, we have two people totally incapable of having abortions, at least if everyone is as gay as they claim, uh-huh, and it that sort of thing really pisses god off, wouldn’t they be cast in some sort of favorable light because it’s something only those evil opposite sex having people do anyway? But how many sins would you personally rank about what grown people do with their sex organs in the privacy, ( tis to be hoped) of their own homes?(Or at least a nice rented room somewhere with decent walls.) Wouldn’t war, the economy, homeless children, abused wives, and the environment be just a little more important than whether or not some guy wants to marry some other guy?

Do you realize the more guys there are out there marrying guys the more women that leaves for me? Doesn’t god know this? I mean, isn’t that the single most redeeming value of gay men, other than interior design and show tunes?

Of course the real and most serious problem here just might be if we give women the choice between marrying men or getting hitched to other women, more of the critters just might jump ship on us. Oh like you can really blame them! Men are smelly creatures incapable of thought during a football game and we cannot remember an anniversary to save our lives. We are poor
house keepers and unless there is a bug to be smashed or a jar to open, is there anything that we really do? Women, on the other hand, smell much better, are much better cooks, sing more beautifully, and when it gets right down to it, there is no creature on earth with as much drawing power as far as attraction goes.

I predict same sex marriage will cause more women to marry women than men to marry men, who otherwise might marry someone of the opposite sex.

There are a lot of people like me who flat do not care. If lesbians want to marry other lesbians, even if I don’t get any beer out of the wedding, how could it possibly affect me, other than me having to find some other wedding to crash? If two guys want to play house then is that in some way going to affect the NFL Draft or cause water to run uphill? A lot of people seem pretty pissed about the whole ordeal but I simply can’t find a reason any of this would affect my life at all.

The fact that the people who do not like same sex marriages are not those wanting to get married in same sex weddings, so is it really any of their damn business? Is it mine? Should I be outraged? Is there a compelling reason for me to leave the comfort of my home and march through the street screaming because of who other people have fallen in love with? Is there a compelling reason for me to care who falls in love with who, and should I lose sleep over this?

Wake me up when this has some sort of affect on my life.

Take Care,
Mike

 

Mike writes regularly at his site:  The Hickory Head Hermit

Opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily those of the management of this site.

 

Friday Firesmith – Porn With A Plot

Firesmith logo

When “Basic Instinct” came out in 1991 there was a lot of screaming and hollering over the fact there were naked women, and a naked Michael Douglas in the film. Sharon Stone went commando in one scene that shocked so terribly that it was mocked in half a dozen spoof films since then. The usually demur Jeanne Tripplehorn also shed her clothes, and in one scene, where ex-boyfriend Douglas rips her clothing off, it’s a debate as to whether or not it’s a hot sex scene or a rape scene. Clearly Tripplehorn’s character isn’t happy with the way things transpired but
she is also not totally unwilling either.

The movie wouldn’t be the same without the sex and the nudity, but who is actually killing off other people is a mystery. Douglas’ character is a deeply flawed and haunted detective caught up in the thrill of Stone’s sexually charged suspect and his duty as a cop to catch a killer. The love triangle between the three main characters heats up to the point he sexual tension cannot be escaped even as the body count climbs and the mystery deepens.

Some say that Stone’s acting is less than stellar in this film, but I seriously doubt that the lack of good acting makes a movie porn. The amount of skin shown is much higher than say, “Snow White” but at the same time, the storyline as to who has killed who exists as a function of the characters not as a product of sex or nudity. All in all, I would have to say most people who have watched the film did so because of all the hype and not because it was a movie with nudity or a movie about murders. Oddly, no one really complains about the murders. It’s okay that people are stabbed to death but not if they have sex. That’s a bigger issue than I can write about now.

The 1996 movie “Bound” starring Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon, struck a very similar chord with viewers as one part of the crowd screamed “Porn!” another applauded the character development that arose through the sexual encounter between the two leads characters, and the third group of people simply ignored the film because it wasn’t promoted and the hype didn’t reach that of “Basic Instinct”. Again, the plot needs the sexual tension between characters, and again, the body count climbs, and once again, there was more noise about the showing of a woman’s breast than there was about someone murdering other people.

All in all, I don’t own, or watch, porn. The idea of watching other people do something I can’t do at the moment doesn’t do anything for me. If I could be having sex I wouldn’t be watching porn, would I? ( if the answer to that question isn’t yes I really don’t want details, okay?)

Question of the week…What is your favorite “Porn With A Plot” Movie?

Take Care,
Mike

 

Mike writes regularly at his site:  The Hickory Head Hermit

Opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily those of the management of this site.

Friday Firesmith – Small Town

Firesmith logo

When you live in a small town you get small town troubles. You get small town solutions to troubles. You have to remember that when you live in a small, poor town, and that small, poor town has larger and more prosperous towns nearby, the law enforcement you get is going to be that which has not been hired yet by the larger and more prosperous towns, or those who have been rejected already. A cop told me that, by the way, by means of explaining why things worked, or did not work. To this very day I sleep with guns and large dogs, because I truly believe what that cop told me, many years ago.

One day I stopped to get some cash from an ATM and there was three guys ahead of me in one car. They had backed into the ATM lane, and a passenger was trying to get some cash, but he forgot the PIN. He was on his cell phone to someone who remembered the PIN and the conversation went like this, sans the vernacular:

First man, speaking on cell: What is the PIN?
Second man operating keypad: I have received an error message.
First man calling out: 6-2-2-2-6
Second man: The device is malfunctioning. I think you’ve vocalized the number incorrectly.
First man: I am only repeating the information as I am hearing it from your mother.
Second man: The device has taken the card and canceled the transaction.
First man: I believe you have committed an error.
Second man: No, the mistake must have been on your part, I fear.

Okay, now let’s do this as it actually happened:

First Man, speaking in cell phone loud enough for people in China to hear every word: HEY!
HEY! NO DAMMIT WHAT”S THE NUMBER? THE ATM NUMBER? WHAT IS IT?
Second man operating keypad: Hey man this sh!t all frecked up I can’t read this man, what the hell is this thing trying to tell me?
First man calling out numbers: 6-2-2-2-6
Second man: That ain’t right, now way, it’s says. Hold on, hey man, this ain’t right, that’s not right man, it only gots four numbers.
First man: Your mama sez that number it’s her card, dammit.
Second man: The (*&^% thing done took the card! (*&^%$^^%%$
First man: You one *&^% **&^
Second man: You gave me that &^%$ number you *&*&^%

So the third man starts kicking the machine, even though to this point he wasn’t involved. I pull away and call 911.

Me: There are three men trying to breaking into the ATM machine at the AXME bank on Smith Street.
911 woman: Okay, what is that location?
Me: Smith Street. AXME bank, the one on the south side of the road.
911 woman: Smith street doesn’t run north and south, sir.
Me: The bank in on the south side of the road. It isn’t the other bank down the road that is on the north side of the road.

911 woman: is that the left side of the road, sir?
Me: Do you know where AXME bank is?
911 woman: Yes sir.
Me: Send the cop there.
Me pulling into the RIPHOFF bank parking lot to wait: Okay, they’re in a tan Dodge Omni.
911 woman: They are in the car?
Me: No, they’re outside the car, kicking the machine.
Cop pulling up, looking bored: Have you seen anyone robbing an ATM?

Now I circle back after a few minutes and there is no one there at all. Not a soul. The ATM is busted and I have no money. On my way back home I see the cop and stop to see what happened.

Me: Did you arrest the men?
Cop: No, they had to take the car back. I’m going to pick them up after they go to the drug store for Freddie’s mama. She needs her heart medication.
Me: How will you know when to pick them up?
Cop: They’ll call.

So I go to the drug store and sure enough the men are there. Two of them are in the Dodge, and the other one is inside, The two in the car and drinking beer as fast as they can. I go inside, wander back to the pharmacy, and sure enough, the guy is sitting there waiting. I go back outside and the guy comes out, calls the cop, I presume, and tell him to meet him at his mama’s house,
where I also presume an arrest was made.

I sleep with a gun and three large dogs.

Take Care,
Mike

 

Mike writes regularly at his site:  The Hickory Head Hermit

Opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily those of the management of this site.

Friday Firesmith – No Parking

Firesmith logo

I know a woman with a PhD who cannot parallel park to save her life. She can handle a chainsaw, sharpen an axe, fix plumbing, and she drinks better than most men I know, but the woman cannot put a truck in a curbside parking spot to save her life. Even though I am fairly good at parallel parking I understand that backing up isn’t for everyone and if you’ve ever tried to teach someone how to back a boat trailer up you know exactly what I am talking about. Oh, I do that fairly well also.

There’s a guy I have lunch with on occasion who cannot park his truck unless it’s within twenty feet of the doorway. He’s a Vulture. He will circle a parking lot until someone comes out, gets into their car, and leaves so he can park there. Even if he had parked in another area code he would have gotten in before they got out. Here’s the thing; he could stand to lose a few pounds. There are people who do this at the YMCA and I just have to wonder what the hell are they doing there to begin with? You go to a building to get exercise but you can’t park a row back from the door?

I don’t get why parking is such a big deal to some people. Okay, if we took all the lines out of a parking lot, what would be the best way to do things? We could all just park anywhere and annoy the hell out of other people who want to park there too, or we could park in an orderly fashion and everyone would play by the same rules.

Yeah. Right.

I knew a woman who never parked her car between the lines and flat didn’t care. Her car looked like it had been keyed a few times, and she never quite got that. I took a photo of her parked in two different spaces at a local store and sent it to everyone we both knew and she got really pissed at me. I told her she was the one who parked that way and it wasn’t like it was a secret. I doubt if she changed her evil parking ways.

There are those people who will sit and wait for someone to move out of a parking spot, even if the person they think might move isn’t going to go anywhere. I was sitting in my truck, about to go into a store, but grooving to Anonymous Four when this creepy old woman started blowing her horn and waving at me. She thought I was leaving and wanted my parking spot. I put the seat back and waited to see how long she would sit there. Two songs later she finally went away.

The people who really piss me off are those perfectly healthy people who park in handicap spots. True enough, most places have enough handicap spots to throw a paraplegic party for three hundred, but that isn’t the point. The point is you’re not the one stuck in a wheel chair. Whatever you might have going on in your life, if you have to walk across a parking lot to get into Mal– Wart you’re still better off than someone who parks up front and can’t.

Take Care,
Mike

 

Mike writes regularly at his site:  The Hickory Head Hermit

Opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily those of the management of this site.

Friday Firesmith – Naked Women

Firesmith logo

There are at least a dozen or so photos on my computer of naked women. This isn’t all that unusual but at the same time I don’t have any porn. I don’t understand porn. While you’re watching porn you could be out there trying to get sex, If you can’t get sex I’m not certain how watching other people get paid to have sex would make you feel better. And oh by the way, I have watched enough porn to know that real sex doesn’t happen that way and I for one am grateful for it.

Naked women on the other hand come in two categories; the first is those who are just out there showing off something and don’t get me wrong, there is nothing at all wrong with a woman who has a great body and is naked. You can quote me on that. In fact, sometimes it’s good to see a brazen nude shot that is all about sheer naked woman-ness and it is a good thing. There is truly nothing on earth more beautiful than the female human form uncovered. As I mentioned, I’ve got a dozen or so nude photos on my computer, and each of them in their own way makes me feel good about being male.

Yet there is another side to this that transcends sexuality and that is nude women are great works of art, and with the right photographer, the female human body becomes more of an object of incredible inspiration and pure exquisiteness that has nothing to do with sexual desire. Let’s take for instance the photo of Angelina Jolie lying in a tub with her back and backside showing. Nude? Hmmm, partially. But it’s a great photo. It shows her tattoos and her face, but mostly it’s about the form of the woman, and despite her popularity and all, the woman has a great body. I have a black and white photo of a half nude woman in cowboy gear. Her breasts are bare, but all in all she’s a great looking woman with a hard body and the photo was just plain well done. Take the same woman, put her in a thong, put a beer in her hand and make it look like she just stumbled out of a frat party and it’s just not the same.

I have a photo of a redheaded woman who has tossed her hair to cover her face but otherwise she’s nude from the waist up, and she’s wearing a pair of jeans. Okay, for reasons that I could not possibly explain, this is a photo that rocks me. There are photos of redheaded women wearing nothing at all with beautiful faces out there I am sure, but the one I kept was the one with the hidden face, the hair, and her nearly perfectly formed breasts, yes, she had those did I
mention that?

I was engaged to a woman who I thought had the perfect body. No, in fact her breasts were not large, but they were perfect. No, she didn’t have a model’s hips but they were perfect. There are a million photos of women’s legs out there but my woman had the best pair of legs I had ever seen. I cannot explain it to you. I can tell you that porn doesn’t interest me, and most of the internet photos of women sticking their implants into a camera really doesn’t interest me at all. But show me a woman with a great body, put her somewhere that accentuates her curves, and let someone with some skill and a camera take a few photos of her… yeah, I’m there.

One question: Who is the most over rated “beautiful” woman in the media today?

Take Care,
Mike

Mike writes regularly at his site:  The Hickory Head Hermit

Opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily those of the management of this site.

Friday Firesmith – Addiction

Firesmith logo

A friend of mine nearly wrecked his marriage playing Halo. He also drank too much, smoked two packs a day, and was obsessed with golf, fishing, and at one point in time, poker. He was always good enough to be better than those who were just good enough but never better than
those who were better. Had he just stuck to one addiction, and one that paid, I think he would have been okay. Spreading yourself around on several different time sucks will eat away at your life like being pecked to death by parakeets.

Someone calculated the amount of time human beings have spent playing “Angry Birds” and came up with enough man hours to equal two hundred thousand years. That’s a lot of time wasted on a game, but when it gets down to it, how many man hours have been wasted on people playing and watching baseball or football, or television? How many man hours have we humans wasted on worshiping some religion that in the end, turned out not to be The One True Religion?  The people who built the Pyramids were just as futile as those people playing World Of Warcraft except they had a really big pile of rocks to show for it. Okay, they have a really big and orderly pile of rocks to show for it, but how many of the stoneworkers’ s names do you remember? I’m not saying the Great Pyramid isn’t great, but I am saying those people who built it aren’t included in the greatness. They’re like someone who has the high score in Space Invaders. Sure,
in its time that was something to talk about but no one is talking about who did it right now.

There were a lot of men killed building the Panama Canal but you won’t see anyone talking about them either. When it comes to great things being done it’s always the nameless and faceless people who build a great wall or something like that but the guys who died getting it done are forgotten. Someone shows up in history as being some fantastic leader for making sure it happened but that’s about it as far as trying to figure how something came to be.

Now we’re in an age where people can waste time in their own little worlds and the downside is there isn’t any rocks being stacked or ditches being dug or tombs being built by all of this thumbing away at the video screen. Individual time sucking produces no glory for the leader, or the country, or for that matter, anyone else. Let’s face it guys and girls, history has oblivion wanting for us no matter what we do, by and large. If you buy into someone else’s
grand scheme to build the next big thing it will only mean they won’t be forgotten, not you. So crank up the tunes, pour a strong one, and go after those pigs with a vengeance. You’ll never be remembered for what you do, but you won’t wind up buried in the mud in Panama having died from Yellow Fever.

Slackers Unite!
Mike

 

Mike writes regularly at his site:  The Hickory Head Hermit

Opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily those of the management of this site.