Aging

1. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
2. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
3. You sing along with elevator music.
4. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service.
5. You have a party and all your neighbors don’t even realize it.
6. People call at 9 PM and ask, “Did I wake you”..??
7. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
8. Things you buy now won’t wear out.
9. You can live without sex but not without glasses.
10. You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.
11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
12. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
13. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
14. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
15. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
16. You know your eyes won’t get much worse.
17. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
18. Kidnappers are not interested in you.
19. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
20. No one expects you to run into a burning building.

Thanks, Jokes & Shite