Friday Firesmith – One Year

One year ago tomorrow, the 2nd of April, death took my girlfriend, cancer took her. The process was very long, three months, it was a very short, three months, and it was over on the second day of April, which happened to be a Friday. I had written about Hospice, and how I thought it would happen soon, my posts were written ahead of time, I was still writing, because writing keeps me sane, and the people here, at Bits and Pieces, were keeping me in one piece, more or less.

There was a lot of comments, a lot of feedback from people who had walked that path, a lot of people praying for a miracle, people hoping for the best, and there was Jon, always there was Jon, keeping in touch with me, offering to let me keeping writing if I wanted, or not, if I wanted, but his support never waved.

Some of you were there with me, some of you are new, and don’t know about this. But I am here to tell you the people whose names you read today were there for me in ways that mattered a year ago, and still matter to me, deeply.

If someone you love is dying, accept the help. Accept anyone who will speak to you, who knows what you feel, who empathizes with what you are going through. I am not an easy person to reach, but in the time of dying, the people of this site rose up, and I felt as if I was less alone.

It matters. It mattered to me then and it matters now. For now, I know what this is like, and when someone tells me a partner, someone who would have likely been a wife, is dying, I can speak the language, words learned in great pain, and greater need. There is a process to dying of cancer. It is slow motion, but it happens very quickly. I hope you never understand that last sentence, but if you do, you will know.

More than anything else that has happened here since the beginning of Friday Firesmith, Jon’s decision to allow me to keep writing about cancer was one that kept me from falling apart, kept me grounded, and in the end, gave me a view on my own life I had never seen. I can never thank Jon enough for this, but now, he too is gone.

I did not see that coming, none of us did, but it did prove that once again, we are more than just a website out there on the net, in a way that really matters, we are a family.

I’ve gone back and read the comments, felt the sorrow of that time, but I am still fully grateful for the people here, and the love and support that was given to me.

Never, ever, will there be a moment of my life I forget losing someone I loved, but I will also remember those who stood by me.

Thank you again, everyone.

Mike Firesmith.