Spill drink in the seat in front of you at the movies to avoid people blocking your view.
if you’re stuck on an annoying call, put your phone on airplane mode instead of just hanging up. The other person will see “call failed” instead of “call ended”.
If the person sitting in front of you on a flight reclines their seat all the way back and leaves you with no room, turn on the air conditioning above you to full blast and point it at the top of their head.
Save business cards of people you don’t like. If you ever hit a parked car accidentally, just write “sorry” on the back and leave it on the windshield.
Steal a traffic cone and carry it around in your trunk in case you need to save a really prime parking spot.
If you ever get caught sleeping at your desk at work then say “They told me at the Blood Bank that this would happen!” when asked for a reason.
Pour cheap wine into expensive bottles to serve your guests in order to make them think you are serving them premium stuff. They won’t know the difference.
When you give someone a gift card as a gift, write down the card number and code. Then after a year or two, check the balance and if they hadn’t used it yet, just use it yourself. They obviously won’t know or care.
In your last year of college “lose” your student ID and get a new one. The exp date will reset and you can get another 4 years of discounts.
Donate to homeless shelters in the next town over. The majority of homeless people tend to go where there are available services, and this will reduce the number of homeless in your town.
If you squash a memory foam pillow then fart into it while it expands back out it sucks the fart smell in for 5 or so minutes so when the next person lays their head on it the fart particles get re-released around their head.