So there’s this guy, and it’s his first time in New York..
..and like any tourist in New York for the first time, he wants to do something special. Memorable.
So he decides to go to the top of the One World Trade Center to this famous bar to have a couple of beers and check out what must surely be, a gorgeous view.
As soon as he sits down at the bar, some guy sits right next to him, and starts talking to him..
He goes, “Hey, how you doin’?”
The tourist, a little weirded out goes, “doing good, how about you?”
“Good. You don’t look like you’re from around here..”
“Uh..yeah. It’s my first time in New York”
“Oh really? Well, I guess you haven’t heard about this bar then”
“Uhhh..well…I have, I mean. I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Yeah, but that’s not what I mean”
Pointing at the stool the tourist is sitting on, the man says “You see that stool you’re sitting on?”
Tourist looks down.
The man says “that stool.. is from the Titanic, the ship, the actual one..”
Tourist genuinely surprised goes “Oh really?”
Man says, “Yeah. Yea.. Also, have you seen the bathroom yet?”
Tourist a little weirded out again goes, “uh..yeah”
Man says, “..well you remember that giant rock by the door? That rock..is a moon rock. It’s from one of the original Apollo missions”
Tourist genuinely surprised again now and actually happy he learned this little factoid goes, “Oh wow..that’s actually really cool, thank you for telling me”
Man says, “Yeah don’t mention it, this bar is famous because the owner likes to collect really unique and random historical artifacts and he places them all throughout his bar”
Tourist genuinely unaware of this and again happy to have learned this goes, “Oh wow, that’s awesome. I actually didn’t know that.”
Man says, “Yeah, cool right? You see that window over there?”
Tourist unsure of where this one is going, says “uhh..yeah”
“If you jump out that window…you’ll fall 10 stories, and come straight back up again through the window”
Tourist now chuckling and shaking his head to himself goes, “funny”
“Come on man, get the fuck outta here, I may be a tourist, but I’m not an idiot”
The man, really determined now goes “you don’t believe me? Watch this..”
The man steps up to the window, and without any hesitation jumps out..he falls 10 stories…and sure enough, he comes right back up again through the window”
The man goes to the tourist, “you see?”
The tourist genuinely flabbergasted and thinking what the fuck is going on here goes, “Wow that’s awesome, that was actually pretty cool, but obviously you have it rigged somehow. That’s impossible”
The man goes, “Still don’t believe me, huh? Ok, do this. Tie my hands together, tie my legs together, and throw me out..and watch what happens”
So the tourist ties him up, and throws him out again, and the same thing happens. The man falls 10 stories, and comes straight back up again.
The man again goes, “You see?”
The tourist is now convinced. He walks up to the window, looks down and thinks to himself, what the hell. The tourist jumps…he falls 10 stories…he falls another 10 stories….he falls ALL the way to the bottom and BOOM, he’s dead.
The man now goes back to the bar, sits on the Tourist’s stool, and finishes the rest of the Tourist’s beers and the bartender looks up at the man and goes, “You know what Superman? You’re a real jerk when you’re drunk..”