5 thoughts on “Has anyone lived long enough…”

  1. I am young enough to remember buying one when I moved out of my parents house. Still have it. Same with Baking Powder (not soda). Bought another one ONLY because the cardboard one with the metal rings is HARD now. I was scraping some loose to use it, and realized there might be an easier way.

  2. Valentina hot sauce is my favorite. It comes in a quart (1 liter) bottle that’s cheaper than tiny bottles of other hot sauces. I use a bit of it on nearly everything and it still takes a year to run out. It’s mostly vinegar, so it doesn’t lose flavor in the spice cupboard, though when you’re down to the bottom of the bottle it’s thicker and darker-colored. Good on scrambled eggs, potatoes, hamburger, chips and cheese…

    And I have most of a bottle of drain opener chemical liquid that I bought years ago and used once; I found out it didn’t really do anything except cost a lot of money and smell toxic, and ever since then I just solved the problem of sluggish sink or shower drains by hot-water exercise-plunging it with the toilet plunger. I have a maybe-twenty-year-old box full of connectors and cables for electronic things that don’t have anything to plug into anymore. SCSI cables, for example. Cables for a tape backup drive. Firewire wires. Cables with connectors on them that I don’t even recognize anymore. Wall warts. Serial ball-mice. A blue and gray music player that looks like a flattened cigar and takes a single AAA battery but, no, a fresh battery won’t make it light up; the virtue has gone out of it. Big headphones with missing ear-pillows. A radio whose rubber paint coating has decomposed to be both slippery and sticky at the same time. It only gets one lousy loud station, but it works! Thanks for reminding me to look in there. That was fun.

    One time in, I think, the early 2000s I was cleaning out under my employer’s house for a dump run and I found a whole crate of Spam that was there among the gallon cans of hard paint since the 1970s or ’80s. I hadn’t even discovered Valentina sauce yet, but the plain Spam was good for sandwiches, and sliced and fried, and cut into strips to put in salad or ramen. Crates of Spam would be a great treasure after society has been disrupted by a zombie apocalypse, or civil war, or nuclear EMP, or an asteroid. Every can in my crate was perfect, shiny and intact after decades, and I used them all in less than a month and never felt even the slightest bit sick.

    Perhaps Spam of modern vintage is not made to the same level of quality, now that the experts who were there at the beginning have gone to their graves taking the old knowledge with them. But maybe it’s fine. One way to find out.

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