Friday Firesmith – 14 will get you 20

Friday firesmithGenerally speaking, sexual behavior is as different between one person to the next, with everyone having something they like and things they wouldn’t do on a bet. Take one hundred people at random and ask them what they want out of sex and you’ll get one hundred different answers. At the same time, there are some things that most people will admit to liking, some things few will admit to liking, and some things we won’t talk about, but hey! If two willing adults engage in something they both like we should simply hope the motel walls are thick enough to contain the sounds.

I’m not sure why some people are so concerned about what other people do with their own bodies. If there is a disapproving God out there I am quite certain He, or She, can smite the wrong doers without the help of us humans.  Not to point too fine of a point on it, but I would like to suggest those people who are protesting what other people do for sex aren’t getting any themselves which might be why they’re protesting.

This all leads me to the story about a friend of mine, Davy, who picked up a woman at the beach. We were all very young back then, I was twenty, Davy was nineteen, and he was even younger than that. Davy never really grew up after High School and he more or less drifted along with whatever happened. Meeting Chiffon was a good thing, I thought, because she was young herself. Yet of the two she seemed to have a better grip on things in general and I thought she was good for Davy and he was good for her.

There were things. The first thing was she didn’t like to drive. The next was she didn’t want Davy to meet her folks. Then there was that thing about her High School. There were only two High Schools in town and Davy had just graduated from one of them. No one there seem to know Chiffon and one of the guys we smoked pot with was sure he knew Chiffon’s sister, who had just started High School across town.

One day a friend of hers got mad at her and produced an eighth grade school identification card. Chiffon was fourteen.

Davy spent a little time on the run, because Chiffon’s parents found out from the same mad friend. He camped out on my porch for the better part of a month and seemed fairly happy to be there instead of jail. There wasn’t any physical evidence against him, just a dozen or so folk that might have seen them together, but the girl’s parents were ungodly pissed. Of course, they had allowed their daughter to go about acting as if she were much older than she really was, but that wasn’t a legal point.

We never did see her again or hear from her, but Davy missed her something fierce and I was sad to see them break up when it was pretty clear they were good together. The difference in age was five years, but there is a time where five years means a lot and this was one of those cases. I would not advocate fourteen year old girls dating nineteen year old men for a variety of reasons, but if she was seventeen and he was twenty-two no one would say a word about it.

The recent excitement about an eighteen year old dating a fourteen year old is not exactly new, but there is a twist here; both are female. Now, we can argue that the younger girl’s parents are shocked and appalled at their daughter’s orientation  and that may well be the case, but at the heart of the matter you have a District Attorney who knows damn well if he opens the door a little he has opened the door a lot.  Whatever else that man is willing to do or not willing to do, I’m more than willing to bet he’ll ride this one down to the mat simply to keep fourteen year olds from dating other people old enough to vote.  And to keep those people old enough to vote, out of the middle school when looking for a date. It may very well be that this is a case of a set of parents who would rather be dipped in unicorn excrement than see their daughter giving lip service to another girl but legally speaking, this is pretty much an open and shut case.

Take Care,



Mike writes regularly at his site:  The Hickory Head Hermit

Opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily those of the management of this site.


13 thoughts on “Friday Firesmith – 14 will get you 20”

  1. I had started college, left and then went back to the same college a few years later. I remember being 22 and this hot redhead was on campus, dancing at some function in the main gathering area of this small private liberal arts college. The group of guys I was with all were drooling over her. Of course me being slightly older and more experienced, I decide I would go and talk to her.

    We struck up a conversation and it was going well. She was quite an interesting lady. Then I asked her if she went to school there, since I’ve never seen her before and this is quite a small college (1100 students). She said no. Then I asked which area college she went to. She said she wasn’t in college….that she went to the local high school.

    I was thinking, ohhh geeze, she had me fooled. Then I asked her if she was planning on coming here next year. And she replied with, “I just started 9th grade.”


    Luckily she then said something like, I’m going to check if my dad is here to pick me up yet. That was a natural way to part ways. Else it got super awkward fast.

    About 3 months later, a student from Costa Rica that I knew had to give a talk about her homeland to a church group in town and she had asked me to give her a ride. So I do and come to find out, this was a high school retreat that she had to give a talk at. And of course, this stunning young redhead was at this retreat. At one point, they were going to go to an ice rink about 20 miles away but didn’t have enough cars to give everyone a ride so they asked me to drive also. I figure, why not.

    Immediately, the redhead screams out that she wants to ride with Sander. So it was me, my Costa Rican friend, the redhead and her brother. About halfway into the trip, my Costa Rican friend (who was the same age as me, 22) asked the redhead what college she goes to. She was so surprised when the reply was that she was in 9th grade in HS. Then they went on and on about who the other one was prettier.

    Anyhow, I was so relieved that it wasn’t just my male hormones that thought she was older. My good female friend from who is also older completely thought she was in college and hot as hell as well. I felt much better knowing that.

    And no, nothing ever happened between us like Davy and Chiffon. I kept my distance. But I can totally see how it’s completely possible to think a girl is much older than she is. That girl often was on campus and always ran up to me. If her age wasn’t established up front or if she would have lied about her age, it totally would have been believable and I could have been in big, big trouble.

    • That’s the real problem, Sanders, is there are some individuals who are more mature than others at 14 and the same can be said for 18 year olds.

      We have to either say all 14 years olds are equal and turn them loose or say they are all created equal and not.

      It’s a bitch either way.

  2. I hope the DA does stick to his guns. The rainbow community wants equality, and I support that, but that means equal obligation to obey, or change, the law.

  3. I completely agree with you. This is a case about the age, not the sex, of the individuals.Bruce is correct,being gay does not excuse one from following the law!

    • DRMOS,

      I think Bruce has it right, also. The issue of the younger girl’s parents aversion to lesbianism is a separate one in this case. Fourteen is fourteen, even if it isn’t.

  4. If, by law, a minor is too immature to CHOOSE to have a sexual relationship with a person past the age of majority, then BY LAW, a minor should be considered to be too immature to be charged as an adult for serious crimes.

    I realize that charging a minor as an adult is a way to circumvent the restrictions of juvenile law that allows offenders to be released (and their record sealed) upon reaching the age of majority, but in practice, in the USA, minor children are being sent to adult prisons where they are victimized. I believe this is wrong.

    I likewise find it inconsistent from a legal standpoint that we may be flexible on responsibilities of a minor child in the commission of violence, yet inflexible in such in the practice of sexuality.

    I would like to see a more reasonable application of the law, such as allowing a minor to be sent to a special facility with other minors, or to a special area within a juvenile detention center, and allow them to be transferred to an adult facility on reaching the age of majority. I would further allow, in serious cases, for a minor to be required to serve a full sentence, even life, for a heinous crime.

    On the other hand, I would support allowing relationships between a minor and a person past the age of majority, where the difference in age is not more than … say … half the age of the older person plus seven (as it is in some states), so long as it is not a relationship otherwise forbidden by law (such as teacher-student, therapist-patient) etc., where one individual has authority over another or acts “in loco parentis.”

    • That all sounds reasonable, Crispy. I agree if they are going to consider a person a minor during the offense they ought to be tried that way and punished that way.

      I do not believe for a moment, in this case, there really is a crime worth someone going to jail for or being ruined for life over, but at the same time this case might be used as a precedent.

      I hope they get some sort of justice out of this and I hope it ends quickly.

  5. The sex of the individuals is irrelevant.

    The law is the law. Sometimes the law is an ass.

    But, for 40 years the “law” has never stopped me from having a toke or ten whenever I please. Not getting caught by the “law” is always what matters.

    No one is innocent of every law.

    PS. Way to go Washington and Colorado (my birth place)! We got lots of fine BC Bud ready to export.

  6. There is no crime here. I have heard about this case and the only reason it is a big deal is because it is two young females and someone wants to raise a stink.

    I had typed out my similar situation from when I was young, but edited because nobody cares. (sh)It just happens at that age sometimes. It’s not always malicious or perverted, it is just natural young hormones and some kids do grow up faster than others.

    Now, I’m in my mid 40s and my wife of 12 years is 10 years younger than I, but back then less than half that difference could, theoretically, have put me in jail and made me a sex offender for life.

    This area of the law is shaky at best. You can herd cats all day but you’ll never cover every situation.

    • No one here has ever moaned about a good story, Scokat!


      But I disagree that it’s crime because they are both female. It’s gotten the attention it’s gotten because they are both female, but I am more than willing to bet more guys that are 18 get busted for having sex with girls who are 14 than girls get busted for having sex with someone else of any gender.

      I would suspect if there is a cultural bias it would be against guys for all the obvious reasons.

      • I didn’t say it was a crime because both are female, only that it is being made a ‘big deal’ (meaning getting attention) just because they are both female.

        And as for the story, heh heh, well, some other time maybe… 😉

        • The media attention is certainly because they are both female. The younger girl’s parents are certainly freaked to find out their daughter is gay. But the case is being prosecuted, I believe, under the concern of expected behavior from older guys (not gays) hitting on younger girls (not gays), Scocat.

          And really, you should never bring up a story that involves sex unless you plan to unleash it.

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