Month: November 2012
How to Hula-Hoop
Jordan from Hooters teaches the class….
Thanks Mike (From Spain)
Frogdonna
Madonna was in St. Louis last night. Reports are that she went onstage at 10:35 for her 8 pm concert and that people paid upwards of $350 for a ticket. This is how it’s been for all the stops on her tour. A DJ played music for about an hour before Madonna appeared. She performed for about 2 hours.
Old Phonies
Thanks Grace
A call from the vet…
The veterinarian called me yesterday: “Your wife’s here with your cat. She’s very sick and so I call you to ask if it would be okay to euthanize her?”
“That’s so sad, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Go ahead.”, I said, “I think the cat knows the way home.”
Friday Firesmith – Time in a Throttle
If you really want to mess up a person screw around with their clock. Make them come to work an hour earlier and it will take three weeks for that person to fully adjust. Make them try to go to bed an hour earlier and it will take a month for that to kick in. No employer in their right mind would try to keep employees happy and turn around and mess with their clocks. Most people know that is some very serious evil being done when it happens. You can get your ass kicked
playing with people’s schedules.
Yet twice a year…
But first, let’s get a couple of things out of the way.
pros·trate verb: (used with object) to cast (oneself) face down on the ground in humility, submission, or adoration.
pros·tate adjective: of or pertaining to the prostate gland.
You are not going to get your prostrate checked unless you’re going to get knocked flat. But once a year or so us guys have to go into a doctor’s office and wait. Meanwhile, in that very building are devices that show bones, preborn babies, organs, hearts, electrical activity of the brain and even photos of cats with terrible English skills yet there we are, about to have some guy’s finger stuck up our butt.
Daylight Saving’s time is the government’s prostate check of our schedules and sleep rhythm. And the government, as we all know already, has very big fingers and has no problems in giving anyone anything up the butt.
This is like cutting a foot off a rope, tying it onto the other end of the rope, and declaring the rope longer. It’s the same damn rope. You are not gaining or losing a damn thing. The sun will rise when it will and it doesn’t give a damn what we call the time. It will set when it sets. We can predict all of this despite what Bill O’Reilly might claim, and messing with it once we’ve figure it out is just plain wrong.
Collectively, millions of people will no longer eat their meals at the same time because the government says time is different. These are the people who brought you seven hundred dollar hammers, the Internal Revenue Service, the Invasion of Grenada, and standardized tests. Letting these people play with time is like letting a five year old play with a cobra. It will end poorly.
I’ve got an idea. Let’s just pick a time and live with it. People have done this for thousands of years. The sun comes up. The sun goes down. I can explain it and I can live with it.
Take Care,
Mike
Mike writes regularly at his site: The Hickory Head Hermit
Opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily those of the management of this site.