Out of the mouths of babes

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister… After a while he asked: ‘Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?’

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was.. Granny replied she was so old she didn’t remember any more. Melanie said, ‘If you don’t remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.’

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night ‘I love you so much that when you die I’m going to bury you outside my bedroom window.’

BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she’d have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: ‘How does it know it’s me?’

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. ‘Please don’t give me this juice again,’ she said, ‘It makes my teeth cough..’

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: ‘How much do I cost?’

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried when his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, ‘I don’t know what’ll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?’

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: ‘Why is he whispering in her mouth?’

TAMMY(age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, ‘Why doesn’t your skin fit your face?’

JAMES (age 4)was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: ‘The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.’ Concerned, James asked: ‘What happened to the flea?’

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget…

This particular Sunday sermon….

‘Dear Lord,’ the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. ‘Without you, we are but dust…’ He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, ‘Mom, what is butt dust?’

Thanks John

 

4 thoughts on “Out of the mouths of babes”

  1. My Mum used to tell a story about my Dad’s demob leave when he left the Army in 1946 not having been home on leave since 1943 at which time I was created…

    Allegedly…On a bus going into town to go shopping…

    Me (Loudly as only a 3 year old can be); “Mum… who was that man in your bed last night?”
    Mum; “That was your Dad”
    Me; “That’s not my Dad; my dad’s a soldier…”

  2. When my older brother was about 3, in a grocery store line around 1950, he said “Mama, this _______ don’t stink!”

    Needless to say, when I came along, I never ever heard a racist comment in my household growing up.

  3. While riding on a public bus, my daughter at age six, spotted a large black man getting on the bus. After staring at him for a few seconds she pointed to him and loudly announced “Look Daddy…he has a moustache!” The laughter went on for several seconds…

  4. My niece, aged about 4, met a very tall bald African American basketballer. She had never seen anyone like him in her life. Upon much consideration she looked up at him earnestly and asked ‘Who coloured you in and stole your hair?’
    My sister was mortified and apologised profusely but the lovely man involved just laughed.

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