Any advice for a sixteen year old boy who thinks he is in love for the first time? i am just…
Confused
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always use protection, always
There is NO telling if what you have is the most precious thing you will ever find or a learning experience. Go SLOW.
Take your time. She may seem the perfect woman to you. You may seem the perfect man to her. Before you do ANYTHING that would be irreversible, think deeply about it and where either of you will be in a year, ten years, twenty years. Will you look on this experience with joy or regret. What does love mean to you. What does love mean to HER. You will be surprised at how different your outlook changes from year to year, experience to experience. Good luck.
i am 32 and still confused, good luck young blood
I’m 16 (well almost 17), and I know that feel bro. I am yet to be in a single solid relationship. The last one I was in started off great… but as things like this go, shit hit the fan FAST. She kissed me, then turned around and decided that she couldn’t choose between me and a friend of mine. Left me depressed for months afterwards. As said above, take it slow. You just might do better than I.
Know when to bail out on a sinking ship, no matter how much you care about this person. Mine might be an unusual case, this girl of mine was/is f-ing nuts. Anyway… talk to your buddies, especially those who have been there themselves. I wish I had taken the advice of mine. You won’t believe how supportive they can be.
Edit/P.S.
Good luck buddy. I didn’t mean to scare you with the above, by all means, pursue it. I have learned not to worry about relationships until you can see this person as your best friend. Worry about that first. The rest will fall into place, if it’ll actually work out, or is meant to be. If not, whatever. No matter what happens, this will be a huge learning experience. You’ll discover plenty about yourself, trust me.
It’s a crazy world out there, and you’re absolutely right to be confused. I am too.
You’re feeling something, but it ain’t love. Love is shoveling snow, taking the trash to the curb, going to the store during the game, etc… etc…
You know it! Kudos! Just ask my husband of 18 years how much he’s still in love with me…he’s cooking dinner for me right now and I do “the little things” for him, too, to show love every day.
Oh, I agree with you man. Love doesn’t hurt, or make one depressed, or cause problems for everyone. It does quite the opposite. And yeah you tend to find it in places you don’t expect. What I went through did.
anon, I can’t agree with you as love has hurt me many, many times. Well, it’s not the love that actually hurts you, it’s either the lack of it when it goes away or the person you’re in love with does hurtful things, knowingly or not. Love, in the romantic sense, can rip your heart to shreds and make you wish that you were never born, if things go south. While it’s true that when one is actually ‘in’ love, the world seems like an infinitely better place. The sights, sounds, smells are amplified to the nth degree and one seems to need a lot less food, alcohol or other potential fuels for self abuse, and to be with the one you truly love is kind of heaven all unto itself. BUT, one has to decide if the risk is worth the reward or the possible heartbreak that can come from it. As Richard Pryor once said, “A broken heart will either kill you or make you fat!”
True love is ALWAYS worth the risk. If you don’t put yourself out there and open your heart and take risks you’ll most likely never know true love.
With that being said, true love can suck really bad too when it goes sour. But if you truly love someone, you want them to be happy… with or without you. You can’t make someone love you, no matter how much you want it or how hard you try.
I have been “in love” many times and it often turned out to be just “in lust” or lonely. If it becomes physical, that1chick’s advice to use protection is fantastic advice.
For me, when it turned from “in love” to love was when I finally found someone I liked, respected, and loved. In addition to being the love of my life, my wife is my best friend. Love can wax and wane, but friendship lasts and the flames fan again.
16 is a difficult age. You’re on the cusp of adulthood, hormonally changing, physically changing,and going through the tribal relationships in school. Take your time. What will be will be. If your partner feels the same as you, something will happen. If not, something will still happen. You might be hurt; you might be happier than you’ve ever been; but you have a lifetime to make decisions, mistakes, and corrections. If it works out, that’s fantastic. If it doesn’t, hold your head up and move forward. Life changes and you won’t be the same person you were before you met your ‘love’, but you’ll have learned and grown.
When I think back over the (many) decades to teenage love(s) (there’ll be more than one), and what I thought the ideal relationship with the ideal girl was….. :O
LOL, good luck–I’m still confused. Take it easy, enjoy these years, don’t do anything stupid, have fun, go places, take pictures, laugh, don’t make promises you can’t keep.
(One small hint…the hot & sexy, popular, outgoing chicks who are so much fun at the keggers are for today. But don’t ever eliminate the plain looking, quiet, introverts…someday you’ll find that those are the real keepers…)
Why do people confuse LOVE with LUST? This guy is asking for advice to better handle his emotions and you people are telling him to go cover his weenie? Stop watching so much TV! Not everyone is what you have been seeing in the tube! Get the mind out of the gutter and give him some advice he can use to have a great relationship, not how he can stay away from diseases. That is NOT WHAT HE ASKED FOR.
Don’t listen to these people dude. (From another Duuude). They’re out of touch.
Treat her with respect and don’t take her for granted. Let things happen naturally and don’t rush. If it doesn’t work out, don’t let it be the end of the world. Very few relationships last forever with the first person you fall in love with, but don’t let me stop you from skewing the statistics. Good luck and enjoy the ride!
You certainly paint with a broad brush. One person suggests using protection and you condemn everyone else who offered advice. And why should the 16 year old assume that you are an expert in relationships? And what did you advise that was much different than what DJ and the others said?
I have raised a boy, thankfully he knew to, as you so eloquently put it Duuude, “cover his weenie” and I don’t yet have grandchildren, he isn’t quite ready.
Before you go jumping through your ass, (oops to late for that) I gave what I thought was sound advice. None of it comes easy, I realize that,I remember what it was like to be 16, but guess what, I was pregnant at 16! Oh, I was on the pill, sometimes it’s not as strong as it should be. Before you criticize other people, maybe you should know something about them, as if you give a shit.
By the way I married the guy who got me pregnant, had a beautiful child, an only child, that’s all I wanted,who grew up smart and strong. He’s got a master’s degree and lives a few hours from me doing very well thank you very much.
Reality is reality, it can happen to you, like it or don’t. I wound up being a 19 year old single mother. It happens every day. How out of touch am I?
So you married the guy who got you pregnant at 16, had a beautiful child, and then you wound up being a 19-year-old single mother.
I guess we learned a 2nd lesson here as well. Marriages pressured by pregnancies are not always a good idea.
I guess “out of touch” was a bad choice of words and I apologize for that. I’ll trade that by “irresponsible” instead.
I stand corrected.
I loved the guy and still love him in a way, we had planned on getting married anyway. Me being pregnant would have had nothing to do with it.
Irresponsible isn’t really a word I would use, like I stated, I was using birth control.
I never felt pressured to marry him. Things didn’t work out between us, he is still a good father and a good person.
I gave advice that was all. This is not supposed to be about me or my experiences.
I accept your apology, maybe one day you’ll learn not to be so judgemental of others.
Sorry, but I don’t think duuude is going to learn to avoid making assumptions, or learn to make a real apology without the caveats…
That’s okay Richard, I’ve learned enough in my life to consider the source.
Man, you people do not get sarcasm either. NEVERMIND!!!!
There’s a information website and forum called Scarleteen just for you (link below).
If you post a question on the forum it’s a charity and there are qiualified people who
are there full time to answer your questions.
Here is their site home page
http://www.scarleteen.com/
And here is their forum
http://www.scarleteen.com/cgi-bin/forum/ultimatebb.cgi
Good luck 🙂
Fantastic comment Jake, supplying a resource for the many questions I’m sure he has. A wonderful gift for the new year for him & anyone else who may need it.
Thanks Mary. Sarleteen is brilliant especially as so many kids in the USA are having sex and yet only get abstenance only sex ed.
To answer the young man’s question, there is no answer. Anyone that thinks that there is a ‘one-size-fits-all’ answer to any questions of love is sadly misinformed. All he can do is try to listen to his truest heart of hearts–if he can hear it over the wails of his hormones.
Confused,
It feels pretty weird doesn’t it? A new feeling you’ll likely get more than once in your life. Even if you are in true love, the feeling changes over time. Enjoy the ride, but don’t expect it to always make sense, or feel good, or last.