Richard got drunk on New Year’s Eve

On New Year’s Eve, Richard went out partying.  Richard was in no shape to drive home so he sensibly left his van in the bar’s parking lot and walked home.  As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman.

“What are you doing out here at four o’clock  in the morning?” asked the police officer.

“I’m on my way to a lecture,” answered Richard.

“And who on Earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year’s Day?” enquired the constable sarcastically.

“My wife,” slurred Richard grimly.

via

 

Kiss Them For Me – Siouxsie and the Banshees

Jaynemansfield006Siouxsie Sioux’s cryptic lyrics are an ode to actress and sex icon Jayne Mansfield — using the actress’ catchword “divoon”, referring to her heart-shaped swimming pool and her love of champagne and parties, and to the grisly automobile accident which claimed her life in 1967.

tragic untimely demise at the hands of a semi trailer on a foggy backroad outside of New Orleans one night.  The car she was riding in slammed into the back of the trailer and submarined beneath it, with the end result being that the deck of the trailer nearly decapitated the lass, her boyfriend, and the gentleman driving her Buick.  Amazingly enough, her 3 children in the backseat were unscathed, probably because of their lack of height.

In part due to the publicity surrounding her death, the DOT mandated a low-clearance bumper be installed on all semi trailers.

Mansfield bumper

 

Commonly known as the DOT bumper, it’s also known as the Mansfield bumper.

Thanks sg