Richard got drunk on New Year’s Eve

On New Year’s Eve, Richard went out partying.  Richard was in no shape to drive home so he sensibly left his van in the bar’s parking lot and walked home.  As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman.

“What are you doing out here at four o’clock  in the morning?” asked the police officer.

“I’m on my way to a lecture,” answered Richard.

“And who on Earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year’s Day?” enquired the constable sarcastically.

“My wife,” slurred Richard grimly.