No one cares. I am a driver, a printer of papers, a supplier of lunch money. I never get a nice thank you, I am not included in events and parties. I live totally anonymously among my family. My kids don’t care, my spouse never talks to me. He says no one wants me nor would ever want me because I am fat, old and ugly. I love God and I try to love everyone as He tells us to, yet there is no change in anyone close to me. I have cancer and I try to be a part of everything my kids do because I never know when I will not be able to be there. The only thing that keeps me alive is the fact that if I was not here, my husband would have to raise my children. This is not acceptable but I am miserable with no hope left in my future. I don’t know how to go on anymore. Yes-I have had professional help,their options: accept it, change it (which I can’t), or leave it (which I can’t). I have to accept this, I just don’t know how to do that.
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Deal with it or blow your brains out. Life sucks. Perhaps God can help you, but it sounds like you are over the edge. If you are not telling the truth, you will be punished even more.
It’s punishment enough just reading that “advice”. Seriously, what’s wrong with you anyway? Maybe you can put in the form of a confession so all of us can offer similar advice, sans the “deal with it” part.
Do not listen to this small minded person, kids never know how to appreciate their parents when they are young. Just hang in there, you will do fine.
I can only suggest a support group of some kind. I hope you find a way.
Don’t you dare give up. Just maybe you have a cloud around you that’s stopping you from seeing how much love is actually around you. Do me a favor? Tomorrow, take off those foggy glasses and really take a look. There is no room in the same body for cancer (or any other major illness) and self-pity. You’ve got to give more of yourself than what you get, that’s a rule from somewhere. Life is worth every damn moment when you are surrounded by a loving family and friends. Just maybe they’re damn scared too. Work it all out together and please let these next years be the best of all. You’re the only one that can get a grip on this.
I knew you would have the right words, Bella! xxoo
I loves ya Bitsy. XOXO
I agree with Bella. You need to hang in there. If your spouse treats you like dirt, throw him under a bus and move on. He seems to be more of a problem than your cancer. How old are you and your kids????
What I would do if I could inflict pain on husbands like this on a whim.
reading this broke my heart. I wish I could give you a big hug.
Anybody who’d call their wife “old, fat and ugly” is a miserable excuse for a human being and not to be trusted. You may THINK you can’t survive on your own. You might be surprised. My advice: don’t take crap from that crap husband of yours. Get him into counseling or leave him. Have a sit-down with the kids and let them know how tired you are and how you need some help around the house.
I’ve been doing laundry since I was five, and as I got older, I got other chores. First: my brothers and I cleaned our own rooms. Later, we got assigned rooms in the house. In junior high, I used to volunteer to do the bathroom because I liked how it sparkled when it was clean. I also used to scrub the garbage cans because nobody else liked that job. Funny how that just came back to me. I’m still the same: taking jobs nobody else wants!
My brothers and I cooked, cleaned, mowed the yard, did laundry, washed the dishes. We kept house. Even if your kids are little, they can start with small things.
Even if other people don’t value you: value yourself! You’re still here and still trucking along! You might have cancer, but for now you’re still breathing, and that means you’re still fighting. Don’t give up! I see a lot of “tired” in your confession, but I also see a lot of iron in there too. You’ll be all right.
I’m sure you’ve got people who love you. You’re just down and it’s hard to see ’em. Life’s not always as bad as it looks.
I understand your situation. The main thing is to hang in there. Perhaps you should teach your children on how to do chores around the house to help you out. I know your cancer is not easy, as my husband has had cancer for over a year and half now, and takes chemo every week. It’s hard for me to see him drifting further away from me and wondering when he will pass away. The things he use to do he can’t anymore. So I must do them, but it hurts him to see me do them because he can’t. He’s down to 88 lbs. now, but then he was never very big. The most he ever weighed in our married life was 125 lbs. I use to call him Mighty Atlas. I know he appreciates me, as he tells me he loves me almost everyday. On the inside I pray each day to God to give me strength to carry on. It’s not easy, but I know I must. And now just recently they found several spots in my body, and I just had a PET scan. The spots are small and the doctor says they might not be anything, but I am prepared for the worst. I will be praying for you and hoping things get better for you. Take care and God loves you.
Anne, our thoughts and prayers go out to you especially during this holiday season. Crispy is right, it’s the little things that count. Take comfort in them.
Please know that there are many people out there who are channeling good thoughts your way.
Oh, Goodness, Anne. I’m a bit of an old, cold fish, but that touched me really deeply. I wish you and your husband every happiness you can get. Just look for that happiness and grab it wherever you can. The best happiness is always in the smallest of things. Keep thinking positive. You and your husband are in my prayers.
My heart hurt reading this. I know nothing I can say would change the rock and the hard place you are between. I can pray for you though.
Crispy, Thank you for your prayers. We just have to take each day as it comes, and leave it in the Lord’s hands. Prayers are the only thing we can hold on to right now, and my husband has a lot of people praying for him, but needs all the prayers he can get. And if it is God’s will I will have to accept it because it’s in His plans. Many thanks again.
WifeMotherMe…I don’t know if your referring to me or the lady that wrote the confession. Either way though you are right, it is like a rock because you can’t plan anything for the future not knowing the unforeseen.
Thank you Jonco, My husband can’t even ride his ’66 Harley-Davidson Electra Glide with just over 4,000 original miles, and everything still original on it. He bought it brand new. Knowing you have a Harley thought you might like to know that. I know it breaks his heart not to do the things he use to do. Thanks to everyone. Anne
Anne S., I’ve wondered how your hubby was doing but didn’t want to intrude. Bless you Girl. It’s been an uphill battle for a long time but you’ve hung in there. My thoughts will be with you and your hubby. Keep it strong Young Lady. I can tell that you are an Amazing Woman. Kisses and Hugs, Cheryl
Thank you, One of the reasons I can keep strong is that we have some amazing neighbors. One cuts our grass, another shovels out our driveway of snow etc. And if this doesn’t touch your heart, I don’t know what will. I found out yesterday that our neighbor’s little 7 yr. old boy had a Christmas doings at school. They had a tree and placed cards on it for people they wanted prayers said for. He placed my husband’s name on the tree. He has always liked my husband, so my husband must mean something to him. The Lord sends us many crosses to bear, but none we can’t handle. I also heard a man of the cloth on TV one time and he said the Lord sends us many crosses to bear, but with each one we grow stronger. And I believe he is right.
Geez, am i in the wrong but hasn’t this feed turned into someone else who is not the one who posted?
Whoever posted this, I hope you are doing well. I highly doubt it though ’cause you’re in a love-less marriage where you think you are the last link. And by this i mean you think you’re worthless.
I think your cancer is your home. I bet you are a magnificent woman. I know you can leave… please do so. Not permanently, maybe, but just long enough to get better and to realise that you have a voice in your family and that if you are sick, THIS IS YOUR FRI°GING TIME!!! I’m sure your Mom or your Dad or your best friend is always telling you so.
So this is a brief letter from someone miles away from you, telling you that there is a way out, you know which one it is and you need to gather some courage and take. I trust you can do it! Please write to me if you need to, i will listen. Best of luck!