Tom Swifties

John Walkenbach has a post (and a link) on his Google+ page about Tom Swifities.  Here are just a few of the ones I found funny:

  • “I wish we had some flowers,” said Tom lackadaisically.
  • “My aunt? I don’t know her from Adam”, said Tom adamantly.
  • “I adore hamburgers” , he said with relish.
  • “Jesus Christ,” Tom said crossly.
  • “I know nothing,” said Alex Roidrequezly
  • “The prisoners will be released in the order that they were apprehended,” said Tom consequentially.
  • “Oh I dropped my toothpaste behind the sink”, he said, crestfallen.
  • “The Babe has been fired!” said Tom ruthlessly.
  • “I manufacture table tops,” said Tom counterproductively.
  • “This sea-spray will ruin all the metal-work,” said Tom mistrustfully
  • “Show no mercy killing the vampire,” said Tom painstakingly.
  • “i’m never on time,” Tom said belatedly.
  • “Fire!” Tom shot back.
  • “Fire!” Tom shot back.
  • “Today’s special is the tilapia,” the waiter said selfishly.
  • “I prefer the dark,” said Tom delightedly.
  • “My aunt is never on time,” Andy Griffith said belatedly.
  • Let’s play Bingo, said Tom benignly.

Hundreds more here


15 thoughts on “Tom Swifties”

  1. “I’m not sure about camping” Tom said tentatively
    “Pancakes are my favorite” Tom said flippantly
    “I don’t care about Snow White” Tom said grumpily
    “Crazy dog” Tom muttered
    “Nothing beats a lake retreat” Tom said placidly
    “I loathe a hero” Dracula said painstakingly

    (My grandfather and I love to shoot swifties back and forth… sometimes I’d open an envelope to find a small scrap of paper with a new swiftie)

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