Month: April 2011

Fields of dreams

With yesterday being Opening Day of the Major League baseball season (my Cardinals lost 5–3 after being one out away from a win in the 9th  inning), here’s a look at some technical improvements being made at ballparks around the country.

Minutemaidpark
Houston Astros – Minute Maid Park

The Astros join the Milwaukee Brewers and Minnesota Twins as the only MLB teams to feature a scoreboard with a 1080i display format. “Fans are watching games on high-definition [television], so when they come out to the ballpark we want things to be in high-definition, as well,” Kirby Kander, the Astros’ senior director of creative services, told Wired.com. Where once stood a 26-by-45-foot scoreboard in right field, there’s now a 54-by-124-foot Daktronics behemoth that ranks as the fourth-largest scoreboard in the majors.

The 2.66-million pixel scoreboard was part of a $13 million project which included a 24-by-40-foot video board stationed in left field and 1,185 linear feet of ribbon boards spanning from one foul pole to the other. A state-of-the-art, two-level control room comprising 1,500 square feet was built at the suite level in left field to manage the new ‘boards.

More here

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B&P Link Dump

BlackberryGrab-A-Seat  –  Pay what you weigh airfare

Claim your free trip to space from Virgin Atlantic

Screenless Blackberry debuts   Right arrow2

Planet of the Apps Gorillas get iPads

Nuclear Launch Codes discovered on White House website

Masturbation calms restless leg syndrome

Twitter to charge per tweet

Steve Jobs resigns as Apple chief

Firefox add-on to ‘opt out’ of April Fools pranks

 

IKEA debuts Doggy Highchair   Down arrow

The stuttering kitten

A teacher is explaining biology to her 3rd grade students. She says, “Human beings are the only animals that stutter.”

A little girl raises her hand. saying, “I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.”

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

“Well,” she began, “I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!”

The teacher exclaimed, “That must’ve been scary,”

The little girl said, “It sure was. My kitty raised her back, went ‘ Sssss, Sssss, Sssss ‘ and before she could say ‘ Shit, ‘ the Rottweiler ate her!”

The teacher had to leave the room.

Thanks Gene

April Fools

Top 100 April Fool’s Day Hoaxes Of All Time

10 office pranks perfect for April Fools’ Day

50 April Fools pranks to play on your friends

50. Borrow someone’s cell phone and change the language setting to a foreign language.
49. Change the language for Google on someone’s computer.
48. Change the coffee in the office coffee maker to decaf.
47. Swap the signs on the men’s and ladies’ rest rooms.
46. Hide scented air fresheners all over someone’s office.
45. Add food coloring to milk that comes in a cardboard container.
44. Add food coloring to the windshield washer fluid of someone’s car.
43. Switch around random keys on someone’s keyboard who isn’t a very good typist.
42. Switch the Push and Pull signs on a set of doors.
41. Hide food in a trash can and when someone comes by grab some and eat it.
40. Replace Oreo cream-filling with toothpaste and offer one to someone.
39. Dip the tips of someone’s cigarettes in Orajel so their lips will go numb.
38. Bring multiple sets of clothes to work, change every hour, and act like nothing’s different.
37. Cup some water in your hand and pretend to sneeze on the back of someone’s head.
36. Take something from someone’s office and leave them a ransom note.
35. Add several odd appointments with alarms set to go off during the day to a co-worker’s Outlook calendar.
34. Hide all of the desktop icons on someone’s computer and replace the monitor’s wallpaper with a screen-shot of their desktop.
33. Put a “Please Use Other Door” sign on the entrance to your office building if it only has one entrance.
32. Put a balloon on the tailpipe of a someone’s car so it will pop when they start their car.
31. Glue the headset of someone’s phone down to the cradle.
30. Take the door knob off a door and put it back on backwards, then lock it and leave the door open.
29. Put plastic wrap around the door frame of a commonly used door.
28. Cover a toilet seat with plastic wrap.
27. Take a squirt gun into the rest room stall next to someone and shoot little drops over the wall every couple of seconds while pretending to pee.
26. Leave a note on someone’s car apologizing for an accident that never actually happened.
25. Glue all the eggs into the carton.
24. Hard boil all the eggs in the carton and place them back in the refrigerator.
23. Paint a bar of soap completely with clear nail polish so it won’t suds up.
22. Turn every setting in someone’s car to the maximum: the heat, the radio, the wipers, the seats, etc.
21. Place a small piece of Post-it note over the ball under someone’s computer mouse so that it won’t work.
20. Switch the handles on the refrigerator to the side that doesn’t open.
19. Conference call two people then don’t say anything, just listen.
18. Place a ‘house for sale’ ad in the newspaper for someone’s home.
17. Paint the tips of someone’s pen and pencil with clear nail polish so none of them work.
16. Hide a small radio in the ceiling tiles above someone’s desk and turn it on very softly.
15. Fill someone’s hair-dryer with baby powder.
14. Put marbles in the hubcaps of someone’s car.
13. Leave cryptic notes warning someone of an impending prank then do nothing all day.
12. Rubber band the sprayer on the kitchen sink into the “on” position.
11. Place a pair of pants and shoes inside the only toilet stall in a rest room to make it appear someone is using it all day.
10. Pour vegetable oil on the exhaust of someone’s car so it will smoke when started up.
9. Hide an alarm clock in someone’s bedroom and set it for 3:00 a.m.
8. Remove the shower head and place a Lifesavers candy in it, then put the head back on.
7. Remove the shower head and place a chicken bouillon cube in it, then put the head back on.
6. Rearrange somebody’s drawers or file cabinets in a different order.
5. Tape magnets to the bottom of a cup, put it on the roof of your car and drive around.
4. Put food coloring in the hand soap dispenser.
3. Put an ad in the paper for a garage sale at someone’s house beginning at 6 a.m.
2. Buy some underwear, write a co-worker’s name in them, then leave them on the floor of the office bathroom.
1. Install the Blue Screen of Death screen-saver on someone’s computer.

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