After a really nice weekend in St. Louis, we’re in for another round of 100 degree plus weather this week. Miss Cellania has a post asking the question…
How Hot is it?
* the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
* the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
* farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
* the cows are giving evaporated milk.
* the trees are whistling for the dogs.
* you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
* you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
* you can make instant sun tea.
* you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
* the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
* you’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
* you would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
* you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
* you discover that in August, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
* you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
* you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
* hot water now comes out of both taps.
* it’s noon in August, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
* you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
* you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
* no one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
* your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”
* you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
Campaign speeches were banned when it was realized, in this heat, the addition of hot air was lethal.
Winter has been pushed back to next spring to give things time to cool off.
Thermometer manufacturers have been forced to add a new upper reading. Satan’s Armpit.
When I was on a trip to Iceland, we went up onto the top of a volcano that had it’s last eruption in the 1960s. The temperature one foot in the ground was enough for us to bake potatoes. We just dug them down (wrapped in tinfoil) for fifteen minutes and they were done.
I saw an overheated dog using short pants.
so hot you have to check the fish for ticks
My husbands favorite “Hotter than a New Bride’s Breath.”
“It was so hot I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.”