Inside your computer’s brain…

Computer: Monitor, display this document, ok?

Monitor: No prob, boss.

Computer: OK, now it looks like Mouse is moving around so, Monitor, will you move the pointer icon accordingly?

Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.

Computer: Great, great. OK, Mouse, where are you going now?

Mouse: Over to the icon panel, sir.

Computer: Hmm, Let me know if he clicks anything, OK?

Mouse: Of course.

Keyboard: Sir, he’s pressed control and P simultaneously.

Monitor: Oh God, here we go.

Computer: *sighs* Printer, are you there?

Printer: No.

Computer: Please, Printer. I know you’re there.

Printer: NO! I’m not here! Leave me alone!

Computer: Jesus. OK look, you really ne…

Mouse: Sir, he’s clicked on the printer icon.

Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.

Printer: NO! NO! NO! I don’t want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I’m turning off!

Computer: Printer, you know you can’t turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we’ll leave you alone.

Printer: NO! That’s what you always say! I hate you! I’m out of ink!

Computer: You’re not out of in…

Printer: I’M OUT OF INK!

Computer: *Sighs* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.

Monitor: But sir, he has plen…

Computer: Just do it, damn it!

Monitor: Yes sir.

Keyboard: AHHH! He’s hitting me!

Computer: Stay calm, he’ll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.

Keyboard: He’s pressing everything. Oh god, I don’t know, he’s just pressing everything!

Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now?! Do you see what you’ve done?!

Printer: HA! that’s what you get for trying to get me to do work. Next time he…hey…HEY! He’s trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh my god! He’s torn out my cartridge! HELP! Please! ERROR!

Monitor: Sir, maybe we should help him?

Computer: No. He did this to himself.


10 thoughts on “Inside your computer’s brain…”

  1. hahaha. I have always thought it was because printers can be on a network. You cant blame it on Windows, I have had the same problem on linux and unix and seen the some problems on apple.

  2. I so loved the scene from “Office Space” where they take the horrid printer out to a field and kill it with a bat…omg how many time I wanted to do the same thing…printers are evil things

  3. my printer will scan for my wife but refuses to scan for me. I’d throw the thing away but i get the ink for free so i just have her do my scanning for me.

  4. I use a refurbished HP 3520 that I bought on eBay for $20.00. Never had a single problem. I figure that cheap equals less crap to break…

  5. I have a fax-printer-copier-scanner combo at home. The Scanner doesnt work, the fax will never work, the printer aspect leaves much to be desired, all photocopies are in black and white, and it makes this faint growl noise when I walk by it.

  6. I have the best multi-machine in the world, I think. It does everything short of brewing a pot of coffee and never balks. I love it.

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