When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Heaven, God appeared and said, “I want the men to make two lines: One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women.” “I want all the women to report […]
At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table. Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her.
“This is so embarrassing,” the woman […]
A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair […]
A joke that doesn’t go as well as hoped.
Two blondes with hammers, Carol and Donna, were doing some carpentry work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, […]
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’
‘No,’ he replied, ‘Arthritis.’
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * […]