Black Friday Firesmith

As I write this I am wearing sweats and lying on my bed, listening to classical music. My three dogs are snoozing beside me and it is raining like hell outside. It’s two days before Thanksgiving and the day after Thanksgiving will find me in a state of repose very much like the one […]


Friday Firesmith – A Legal Question

So I have this friend of mine, Debbie, and she’s wound up pretty tight. She’s one of those women who seem to have something to prove in life, and that isn’t a bad thing at all, but she does leave a trail of blood behind her. Two husbands and a few boyfriends later, Debbie […]


Friday Firesmith – Not All Men

Okay, guys, it’s time for us all to sit down and have a talk. Things are getting awfully weird out there and someone has to step up and put an end to it. That would be us. If a woman wants to join the military she has about a fifty-fifty chance of […]


Friday Firesmith – The Sins of Honey Boo Boo

When Jon Benet Ramsey was murdered everyone was horrified to learn she was a part of a series of “beauty pageants” where very young girls, some too young to attend grade school, were paraded around in clothes meant for women. There was, and there is, something very creepy about a four year old in […]


Friday Firesmith – The Last to Know

The difference, as far as I can tell, between getting married and getting a dog, is that most decent people when they get a dog intend to keep that dog until death. Most people, even decent people, when they get married, realize they aren’t 100% in control of the institution. I’ve known really happy […]


Friday Firesmith – On the Radio

Because the only source of music I have in my work truck is an old FM radio, I can listen to classical music in the morning and for part of the afternoon. After that, however, I am pretty much a button pushing fool, flipping through the channels to find the least worst song playing […]


Friday Firesmith – Why War

All you really need to be anti-war is a good sense of history. Wars rarely end well. In fact, most end poorly for one side, the other side, and sometimes for both sides and everyone else around them. War pretty much sucks. Yet every time we turn around there is someone out there who […]


Friday Firesmith – The Sins Of Beverly Carter

Beverly Carter was murdered because she made the mistake many murdered woman make; she was alone. I would never survive as a woman because I’m alone more often than not. But I am not a woman. Because I’m a guy I get to walk around in the woods by myself, drive around late at […]


Friday Firesmith – Ebola

It seems odd that people would take the medical advice of a man who has only seen a few seasons of House and who had never actually played doctor as a child. Medically speaking, unless you are looking for an easy malpractice suit, don’t listen to anyone on the internet who is handing out free […]


Friday Firesmith – Oh Darwin! Where is thy sting?

There is, in the wild, a filter that eliminates stupidity. It is widely known and misunderstood as “Evolution” but for the sake of the subject at hand, and that would be stupidity, the popular version will have to serve. Most people I have met who “don’t believe we came from no damn monkey” cannot […]

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