Friday Firesmith – Open Discussion

So there I am thinking about a dark beer on a weekday because it’s so damn hot outside that the sidewalks are melting. I haven’t been in a bar, and this place isn’t really a bar because it is trying to sell chicken wings as food, in ages. Dark beer is of the gods of […]


Friday Firesmith – Gator Debate

Man Attacks Gators, loses.

So let’s suppose you saw a sign that read, “Wet paint”. If you touch the paint you’ll get paint on your finger, which isn’t altogether a good thing but at the same time, other than feeling a bit stupid, that’s about it. But suppose you saw a sign that […]


Friday Firesmith – Toys Were Us

Once upon a time in a land far away, children played with toys that were damn near indestructible and were powered by imagination and muscle. The toy cars I had a young child were made out of steel. The wheels were hard rubber. Of course, I had to push them along the floor and […]


Friday Firesmith – General Lee’s Swastika

If you want to put the flag question in perfect perspective all you have to do is go get a flag with a swastika on in and march down the street. In fact, the ACLU fought and won the right for you to do so, in 1977. Skokie,_Illinois

For thousands of years the Swastika […]


Friday Firesmith – Shopping With A Crackhead

Okay, let me be fair about this; I don’t really know if the guy was a crackhead or not. It’s not like I can conduct random drug tests on people in grocery stores and it’s a good thing, too. I’d whip out a plastic bottle and demand some of these people’s pee on command. […]


Friday Firesmith – The Sins Of Joyce Mitchell

I have no doubt there’s some sort of Employee Orientation for Prison Workers where an instructor is telling new hires, “Don’t make friends with these people! They will use you.” But hey! This is the American prison system where about two million people are being housed together with a minimum amount of supervision, as […]


Friday Firesmith – Cops and Guns and Me

I knew the house had a silent alarm but I had the code. I also had forgotten the code. And I was more than a little drunk. The wedding was someone else’s, thank dog, but I was meeting with an old girlfriend and we were going to reunite and rekindle. This was not one […]


Friday Firesmith – The Sins of Bruce Jenner

For those of us who were kids when Bruce Jenner was tearing up the Olympic Decathlon, those were some truly heady days. I was fifteen when all of this was going on. Our nation’s 200th birthday, the Bicentennial, had been a Summer long celebration. It was fun. It was exciting. And it was glorious. […]


Friday Firesmith – The Feral Kin

One thing I have noticed about the dogs I have rescued is that the ones who have suffered the worst abuse tend to be those who have drifted back towards being feral. Sam was a deadly killer of small mammals but he never seemed to enjoy it at all. It was something he did, […]


Friday Firesmith – Killer Aquatic Rabbits and UFO’s

I grew up a bit of a skeptic which was a byproduct of being a voracious reader. I knew full well there was no such creature as a Hoop Snake or a Copper-Bellied Water Moccasin. From a very early age I realized that not only were my parents were lying about Santa Claus but […]

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