Many many years ago I got married because I thought it was the thing to do. I thought that I was truly in love. We have had a good marriage. There has been a lot of fun times and some bad times. About a year after we got married my wife introduced me to a relative (cousin) of hers. I knew the moment I saw her she was the one I was meant to be with. I’ve kept these feelings to myself all these years because I did not want to hurt anyone, especially the person I promised my life to. Just recently I found out (probably deep down knew all along) that the cousin felt the same way about me. Over the years we have seen each other at family gatherings and have never communicated our true feelings for each other. Now that we know how each other feels it it very hard not to see each other. We share feelings and thoughts thru email. Neither of us want to hurt the person who introduced us to each other. I am truly happy for the first time in my life when we are talking. The cousin is the most beautiful and wonderful person I have ever met. When she walks into a gathering, I get a warm feeling all over and cannot stop smiling. I thought I knew what happiness was all along. I was wrong. Now I know. I don’t know how long I can keep this secret. I am just afraid to cause anyone any pain. I have always thought I would rather be unhappy myself than hurt someone else. I don’t know anymore. Never have I had these kind of feelings before. Totally confusing. Maybe it’s time to start thinking about me for a change.
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